Hawaii and ii

so...

i went to hawaii for my birthday.

i have, what is now, a 2-year-old tradition of turning off the cell for the day and venturing off alone to enjoy and embrace life on my day of birth. this year I was working in California for the summer, so I figured...why not go to Maui for the weekend!?

as someone who is desperate for my thirties and in denial that i have one last year to spend in the land of the twenty-somethings, i needed something to inspire me...welcome me into this strange void of a year with a little bang.

so, yeah...maui.

equal part adventure and escape.

I was there for 3 days, 3 nights...and i think i did everything i could possibly do in 96 hours.

i got in on friday night. it was dark.

the roads were dark....not a lot of streetlights, so you don't really know where you are.

it looked kind of like this:



then i awoke on saturday morning (at 6am muthafuckas!) and actually got to see where i was staying:



this was the view from my room.

((NOTE: If you actually click on these pictures, they look much bigger and better))

a garden, a pool, and the ocean...in the not too distant horizon.

you walk out and cross the street and come to this beach. my beach:



i could have just sat here for 3 days...but au contrair my ohana...it was time for a little snorkel cruise!

((by the way -- "Ohana means family." I learned that from watching Lilo and Stitch...and it actually won me a free poster and a lot of respect from my fellow tourists on my snorkel cruise! thanks Disney!))

so i drove to makena harbor and got on this boat:



...that took a group of us to the Molokini Crater. which looks like this:



i did not take this picture.

but that's where we were!!

and i did take this one of the water when you look over the side of the boat:



there is a visibility of over 200 feet and those black spots are fish.

Molokini (as one of my friendly boat guides told me) is one of the top dive sites in the world. it is also a marine preserve since it is an area where many tropical fish and birds congregate...so nothing in the area can be harmed. and while i did not pay the exorbitant amount that my friendly boat guide was suggesting to "rent" an underwater camera...opting, rather, to jump in and soak in (ha ha ha) the experience...i assure you it looked something like this:



and this:



this is no joke.

amazing. clear blue water. tropical fish everywhere. and me.

then we moved to another location where i swam with giant turtles.

again, no tourist-trap rental camera. but it looked something like this:



and this:



and although these pictures have been pulled from Molokini websites...in order to provide you with a little dave-was-really-there authenticity, my brother recently helped me re-create some of my undocumented experiences during a recent visit to the American Museum of Natural History:



they warned us of reef sharks. i didn't see any. but in honor of my exorbitant imagination...i have re-created my incredible escape at Molokini:



okay...but seriously. here are a few REAL shots before i got in the water:




and a few above-water shots of our second turtle-scouting location:




that night i went to bed very early because i was being picked up at 2:30am for my birthday morning adventure!

i woke up at 2am and wandered to the front entrance of my resort. the street looked something like this:



pretty soon a van appeared out of the darkness...

I thought for a moment...

"What would Tom Cruise do?"...

and got in.

the van was full, so i squeezed into the back seat with my new best friends Donna and...i can't remember his name. shit. Walt? Wally? he was real nice though.

anyway, they took us to a little shack in the middle of nowhere...and we all got out of the van and gathered around a video monitor telling us about the dangers and safety precautions involved in our upcoming adventure. we signed a waiver that said we could die...and then hopped right back into the van!

...and as we drove and drove on and on...and up and up...in the pitch dark of night, we were all soon fast asleep.

we were awakened at the top of Haleakala. a dormant volcano that covers most of Eastern Maui. it was still dark, but the stars were brighter than i've ever seen. seriously amazing. it was freezing cold and we had to run to use the restroom and get back to the van where we all huddled together and had muffins, orange juice and coffee. (i had orange juice since coffee gives me migraines. fyi.)

then we got suited up in the most stylish windbreaker jumpsuits (stay tuned for photo!) and went out to the edge of the crater...above the clouds...to watch the sunrise:



pretty soon the sky started changing color...



and the sun started to peak...revealing the volcano, land and ocean around us...and the clouds below:





me with sunrise:



then it was off to our bikes!



and down the volcano!

we biked down 39 miles...coasting down at about 17 - 20mph. which...let me tell you...is pretty fast (thus the "you could die" waiver). and you start above the clouds so you are literally going through clouds, the cold air rushing by, the newly risen sun on your face. amazing. and kinda scary. and amazing. and kinda thrilling. and the view...



and me in my intense biker gear...



and my favorite team bikers...




donna and carol rode in the van. but c'mon, carol had a broken arm. i think her name was carol. shit! but she was real nice. and, anyway, they were all fran & barry to me. (Amazing Race Fran & Barry! not Chicago!)

and here i am in my hot "hi, i'm a tourist" windbreaker outfit...



so anyway, we flew by forests, cows, cow-poo, ridiculously beautiful homes...stopping occasionally to take pictures, lose layers of clothes (as we descended to normal hawaiian temperatures) and even have a little breakfast at a cute little podunk mexican cafe.

we ended up in a sugar cane field. and here from where we finished, you can see the top of the volcano...from where we started!...in the distance:



it was only about 10:30am when i got home and i passed out...but not for long, since there was beach to be had.

and...more importantly...my birthday pineapple!!

now i had heard about Maui pineapple...but i never believe food things are going to be anything special...

a pineapple is a pineapple is a pineapple, thought dave.

so wrong was dave.

i bought myself a full pineapple and plunged in for the attack:











i cannot tell you how good this pineapple was. i almost ate the whole pineapple. seriously.

so then...the perfect way to end my little b-day and begin my 30th year of existence...

my very first LUAU!!!!



and my very first Mai Tai:



and my very fun table-mate family from Boston:



and a dead pig:



and hula dancers:



and our waiter Nick.

we like Nick:



so, one last day.

and one more big adventure...

the Road to Hana.

a windy road...wait...is windy (as in 'whine-dy') spelled the same as windy (as in Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day)? hmm...

i guess it is. anyway....

there is a three hour drive around the north side of the island that is the only road that goes to the small historic town of Hana. you almost puke from going around so many twists and turns on such a narrow road for such a long time. but it's worth it. and you stop a lot...to avoid puking and to see various little hidden treasures of nature....

cliffs...




beautiful vistas...




me taking pictures of myself in front of beautiful vistas...




waterfalls...



me taking pictures of myself in front of beautiful waterfalls...



a black sand beach...



forests...



gardens...



horses...or forsies...as my brother used to call them was he was little and had no front teeth...



and an old man on a kayak...



i also saw a duck sitting on a cow.

the road was too narrow to stop and take a picture. but i swear on my jurassic park dvd that i saw a duck just sitting on the back of a cow.

and that was pretty much it. three days of paradise. and three of the best days of my life! pictures and words don't capture the beauty and peace i experienced on this trip...the time alone just living and being.

and yes, that may be the cheesiest and blogiest thing i have ever written on this blog.

but whatever!

it was amazing. and it was difficult trying to find reasons why i should actually get back on the plane and not just stay in maui and be tan and go swimming with giant turtles for the rest of my life.

i don't know if i actually found any good reasons to leave...but somehow i ended back at the airport...where...get ready for this...i shared a plane from hawaii to L.A. with Samuel L. Jackson!

ah, what a perfect way to end the perfect vacation...