myFace

Third and Final Destination...

2007-11-18T02:26:00.000-05:00

yes...

Final Destination...3!

and i can't believe it is December.

and it is cold.

and i am still posting about an august trip.

i am done with the blogging.

honestly, it bores me.

perhaps...perhaps...this WILL be the final destination...

and it was a good one...

except for the part where i killed a baby turtle.

here - this one is a little more innocent:

and this turtle actually lived.

i saved this one.

but there was another. and it died in a bucket. and my brother said it wasn't my fault...although...i insisted we finish watching a movie - and eating our Papa John's pizza, wings and cheesy bread before going out to release them on the beach...

when the movie was over; turtle was dead.

anyway.

i'm a turtle killer.

and so - yeah, this is what my brother was doing this summer.

patrolling the florida beaches at 6am to protect turtle nests and help the lost baby turtles get to water...

and this was my chance to join the mission...

well, at least for one morning...

the rest of the time i stayed in the home where my brother was staying.

it looked something like this...

okay. not really.

but that is someone's winter home. just for the winter.

it was empty.

because it was summer.

and it was someone's winter home.

winter home.

i feel poor.

anyway...the place we were staying weren't too shab...

and i spent three days going between sleeping on the beach...

then reading by the pool...

then going back to beach...

also, canines.

also, we took a boat out on the river...or lake...or body of water that comes from ocean and travels alongside beautiful homes...

and then i learned something about florida...

it can be beautiful, warm and sunny out...

you can be riding in a boat, the warm sun beating down, the cool air and water rushing by...

dolphins swimming alongside your boat...

(seriously, there were dolphins...

just not THAT dolphin.)

but then in a matter of moments, everything can turn to this...

and this...

and this...

it was almost as bad as this...

seriously. freezing cold. pelting rain and sleet. lighting right near us - hitting the water. i thought i was about to experience death.

but i did not.

and then it was sunny again.

very truman show.

anyway - one last stop on the way to the airport.

my brother's office

which also happens to be an aquarium and research center with live dolphins...

manatees...

turtles...

sea horses...

octopi...

and ellen degeneres...

also, sharks.

and because i decided NOT to ride the Tower of Terror at Disney MGM...

this is where fate caught up with me on my final destination...

i fell into the shark tank...

...and startled a shark...

...that swam into the glass...spilling me out onto the floor...just in time to land in a jeep that was heading through an asteroid field in an attempt to save a dinosaur...

and basically...

the look of awe, excitement and pure dino-fear captures the overall experience of my little summer excursion.

unfortunately, that guy behind us didn't make it.

2nd Destination...

2007-10-16T03:43:00.000-04:00

DISNEY WORLD!!!

with my brother, pete... (known to many as "dish")

and our matching mickey mouse hats...

yes. disney world. the happiest place on earth...

especially when the haunted mansion is under construction...

but two days and four parks...so many other exciting things to see and do in the world of disney...

even at our magical disney resort...

first stop...

MAGIC KINGDOM!

lots of happiness and joy in the good ol' magic kindgom...

at the winnie the pooh ride...

and thunder mountain...

with only moments to stop for a leg o' turkey...

or a pot of honey...

then vomit it all up after a quick spin on space mountain...

a quick stop at stroller parking...

then "PLEAHSE MOVE ALL THE WAY DOWN PLEAHSE"....[inside dish joke]...

and we were off for an evening at...

DISNEY MGM STUDIOS!!

where you can spend time with famous people like Oprah Winfrey...

Barbara Walters..

and Ursula, the sea witch...

with lots of water...

and fire...

disney has some crazy shit goin' on, yo.

also this (read box)...

and this...

we like sharks...

and dinosaurs...

that were in abundance at...

ANIMAL KINGDOM!!!!!

where there are live aMiNals...

on faux safaris...

with strange little girls...

and strange trees...

and just more and more disney fun...

then it was off for our final evening...

our final park...

EPCOT!!!

the original sphere of dreams...

and the best thing about Epcot...especially after 2 days of 4 parks...

...margaritas in mexico!!

who knew that you could get drunk at epcot?!

and that dish could pull off so many distinctly different disney t-shirts!

anyway, epcot is beautiful at night...especially whilst intoxicated...

and we had just enough time for some last minute shopping...

we quickly sobered up...

and then it was off to Destination #3!!

(blog entry to follow)

but for now, we come to the end of our happy little disney adventure...

two brothers celebrate their birthdays by returning to the pure magic and delight of their childhood...

thanks disney.

my vacation - 1st destination:

2007-09-10T23:35:00.000-04:00

click on images for larger version (better quality!)

late night write

2007-08-09T02:28:00.001-04:00

i'm up late...writing...

sometimes there are those nights where you just don't feel like sleeping...and everything seems so calm...and perfect...

and beautiful...

like a feline staying beside you as you work...sleeping in the cool of the window on a hot summer night...

perfect.

photo op

2007-07-25T01:04:00.000-04:00

vassar

2007-07-08T02:47:00.000-04:00

a little summertime visit to my alma mater...

sunset lake...

my sunglasses are too big.

upside down...look closer...

the shakespeare garden...

the aminals...

and a bench...

sometimes it's just nice to get out of the city.

last class...

2007-07-04T01:01:00.000-04:00

my photography class has come to an end...

and here are some shots from my last "educational" outing...

i'm sure there will be more...

more non-required photo shoots...

now.

(now)

we were supposed to focus on basic portraiture (aka traditional headshots)

such as:

but i soon realized that i was more interested in capturing the moments around the "shot"

such as:

well. i kinda already knew this. but by the last class, i was just over the portraits...and in my own world.

but i must confess...as egotistical or self-indulgent as it may sound...i kind of like my own little world...

More pics of peops...and other things...

2007-06-22T03:40:00.000-04:00

this week's pics

2007-06-09T16:13:00.000-04:00

taking pictures of people

2007-06-04T23:01:00.000-04:00

so.

I'm back.

and who's reading?

probably nobody. i don't really have the blogging impulse anymore...but i started taking a photography class, so i just thought i would post a few pics. throw them out into the universe...even if it's a universe via url that has long been ignored.

alas.

perhaps this will inspire me to blog again.

but, somehow i doubt that.

well, doubt that i will write...maybe i will continue to share photos every week.

it is basically a class on taking pictures of people.

but occasionally, i diverge. and take photos of pottery.

some photos from class. some of people i know. some of flower pottery. and one of me reflected in the side of a car.

enjoy.

photo op

2007-03-24T00:51:00.000-04:00

the natural history museum at night...

(the planetarium)...

photo op

2007-02-06T15:23:00.000-05:00

central park

the pond behind bethesda fountain...

(click picture to enlarge)

me as south park character

2007-01-31T00:09:00.000-05:00

(with hair)

public apology

2007-01-23T15:27:00.000-05:00

i would like to take a brief moment to apologize to my brother for not including his picture on my New Years blog.

he was incredibly distressed by the omission. so i have changed the picture of me and my parents to one of my entire immediate family (brother and sister included)...soaking wet on my rainy college graduation day.

i am also posting it here to cover all bases and give my brother the internet attention he deserves. (even though he was featured mulitple times in full close-up disfigurement on the "lynchian christmas" entry.)

whatever.

we all look terrible. and wet.

i would also like to take this moment to apologize to rupert holmes for not giving him appropriate photo credit for taking this picture that was included on my L.A./Disney trip entry:

rupert was also distressed by the omission.

i was planning to make up for this omission with an entry entitled "All About Rupert." but i never did.

i still might write one...

but in the meantime...

(above photo was taken by Rupert Holmes, 2006)

rupert is a true legend and renaissance man of stage, song, and novel. he wrote an incredible book called "Where The Truth Lies" which is a murder mystery in which the main character has an orgy with a woman who, by day, plays Alice at Disneyland.

rupert also wrote the Pina Colada song and The Mystery of Edwin Drood.

he is a brilliant brilliant man. and a kind man. who inspires me to no end. so i apologize for omitting his photo credit.

i would also like to take this opportunity to apologize to anyone in my life who feels they have been unduly recognized or noted in my blog.

i never intended to do the blog-journal thing. i feel like recently i've ventured away from editorial and included more personal stories, adventures and anecdotes. the truth is a dangerous thing. and now i'm paying the price.

maybe i should have stuck to jurassic otters and shark chumming in jersey...

or tacos.

bodies

2007-01-21T21:14:00.000-05:00

this weekend i finally made it down to the BODIES exhibit at South Street Seaport.

i thought this would be a fun photo journal opportunity.

but cameras were not allowed.

so i have nothing to blog about.

but i will tell you that i found it interesting. yet a bit overrated.

the whole experience made me feel incredibly vulnerable.

i mean...really...i'm just a body.

i'm a body.

also, some woman had a young child with her who was doing that whole crying, squealing thing that little children do all the time. and probably more frequently in the presence of dissected human cadavers.

i told my friend tara if i ever have a kid, i won't take him out of the house until he's at least 22...

maybe 23.

face(s)

2007-01-17T00:19:00.000-05:00

as many who read this page may know...i used to share this blog with my friend josh.

and we called it ourFace.

now it is all dave. all the time.

josh is still me friend. but this is now me blog. and it has been that way for quite some time now.

and i have considered changing the web address to match the more apropo "myface"...so that the url would then be:

myface.blogspot.org

then i thought i would do this and then my legions of regular readers would not be able to find my blog.

so then i thought i would make a warning post. or...even better...keep the old address with a link to the new!!

ah, how clever...and technologically savvy am i!

i was all ready to take this exciting step when blogspot notified me that the address was already taken!

what?!

there is another face.

someone has my face!?

who is this person...who is my face?

i had to find out!

ladies and gentlemen...i bring you

(the other) MYFACE
(note: viewer discretion is advised)

okay. did you check it out? in case the click didn't work...here is what you are missing:

updates on a guy's facial recovery after some undefined "accident"

and those pics are from 2003.

so, he hasn't updated in years.

i would like to believe that his face has fully recovered. and the site is no longer necessary.

we are no longer in need of his facial healing updates.

not that i don't sympatize and understand his need to provide the world with detailed photos of his seriously damaged headphone.

but it was five years ago and i want his url.

however there is no comment option. and no profile.

i can't find out who he is and overtake his web address.

also, on a similar but less jarring note...

this face:

which was in the Brooklyn Museum.

where i went for the first time on sunday.

which is embarrassing...because i lived about a thirty minute walk from the museum for about four years.

had i known.

and i didn't bring my camera.

but the museum was beautiful. it looked like this:

except there was a long line that looped around the lobby and then zig-zagged outside all the way to the sidewalk.

all for the liebowitz exhibit.

annie liebowitz is the next Pirates of the Caribbean.

i even bought ice cream mouse ears while waiting in line.

i waited for almost two hours to see the same photos that are in the book i was checking out in Barnes and Noble only days before.

but it was kinda cool. and she is amazing. and i love her photography. especially the photos she took of her family and Susan Sontag.

and a lot of the information placards were interesting. and there was some clever placement...such as a glossy color photo of George W. Bush with his staff - fully touched up and posed...placed next to a black and white gritty photo of michael moore and his thrift store t-shirt wearing crew.

and this pic of william burroughs...which i was kind of obsessed with...

mainly because i am obsessed with william burroughs. and his writing.

(naked lunch, junky, queer)

i could only find this very small version. because (as someone recently told me), it is illegal to repost copyrighted material on the internet.

but anyway. i am reposting it.

there was also another one beside it...that had burroughs looking right into the camera.

and it was frightening...but incredible. like burroughs.

that liebowitz really captures people. and faches.

and it made me think a lot about face...and celebrity....as the crowds gravitating towards her photos of leonardo dicaprio and al pacino. and away from her mother dancing on the beach.

is it familiarity through their profession?...their exposure? or ambiguity as to who they really are as opposed to the people they become on the screen? what makes a face interesting...?

and that was my "college student" moment of the day.

thank you for attending.

then there was:

Ron Mueck.

an Australian "hyperrealist sculptor" who makes life-like but extreme or disproportionate figures out of fiberglass and silicone.

i was fascinated.

and they are set up in these sparse rooms...so you feel like you are almost intruding on someone...and they feel very alive even though they are enormous and somewhat cartoonish. i felt a little like alice in wonderland. with naked fat people substituted for talking flowers.

my favorite:

please note woman in chair for scale.

amazing.

i want to be 100% silicone when i grow up.

when i left it was evening...and the museum it looked like this:

ah.

and then i walked all the way along the park to my favorite burrito place in me old hood.

faces and old homes. that is my blog thesis of the day.

my closing sentence:

There is a rigid dichotomy that exists between the naked figures of Ron Mueck and my Grande Steak Burrito; and yet there exists an intense and emotional proximity that will be thought about and analyzed for years to come.

photo op

2007-01-16T01:42:00.000-05:00

rutherford place. a beautiful little street i had never seen...

above the east village

friday night...late...

New Year's Eve

2007-01-04T00:09:00.000-05:00

times square on new year's eve:

where i was on new year's eve:

now let me explain...

i tend to hate new year's eve.

well, hate may be too strong a word...

maybe i've just never had a good new year's eve.

okay that is a total lie.

i have.

the year 2000. my friend marcie and i fled the impending mania of new york city on the millenium and went to cape cod. we welcomed in the new year on a dark, empty beach with her father, his girlfriend and a bottle of champagne.

we also took this photo:

immediately after taking this flash photo in the middle of a dark beach...we fell into the sand screaming because the light of the flash had instantly burned holes into our sensitive little night-adjusted corneas.

i also had some good new year's eves growing up. new year's eve is also me mum's birthday. so we would have some family friends over and play games. and when i was feeling ambitious, i would attempt to make a short film in one night usually starring my brother and our friend shawn.

there was one memorable new year's when i made the (now classic film) "the ghost and the missing person" which featured a can of classico tomato sauce that i poured over someone's arm to look like blood. my brother quit the film mid-production and we still fight about his lack of commitment to this day.

however, my brother now works with whales and turtles...has been to florida, st. croix, alaska, mexico in the last year...is currently in maui and i am incredibly jealous.

anyway...aside from these fleeting memories, there have been a lot of bad new year's eves.

mainly because there is that pressure to go out and party. and ya' know what...that's just not me. and for years i have tried to be that person...ended up at parties and bars trying to be all crazy and festive and drunk. and it just never made sense.

so, this year. i decided that i wasn't going to try.

i've had a busy, exciting year...

...and i have a lot of big life changes coming up in 2007.

so, on this eve of the new year, i decided to do what i do best. turn off the cell phone and go on a little dave adventure...reflect on the year...think about what is to come...

now just to preface my loser/loner evening...i have to admit i had kind of a rockin' New Year's Eve Eve partyin' it up at the Hammerstein Ballroom with a performance by Jennifer Hudson. i worked with the JHud on a one-night benefit performance of Best Little Whorehouse in Texas...and she is currently blowing the world away as Effie White in Dreamgirls. i mean seriously:

she's ridiculous.

anyway...we have kept in touch a bit...and she invited me to hang with her backstage at her hotel room before and after the show and be part of the lil' hudson entourage. which included her fun friend Rob and her new lil' doggie, oscar:

who tried to eat my face:

and who had a lil' sprained leg and lil' pink cast.

then we stood right in the front to watch Jen sing her face off...

and dance with gays...

much fun.

anyway.

the next night. a little quieter.

it all started at the daryl roth theatre...which is a haven of memory in itself as i worked in the De La Guarda box office on-and-off for 3 or 4 years.

but tonight it was all about Striking 12.

a musical concert-thingy by a group called GrooveLily...beautifully directed by genius-face Ted Sperling...Striking 12 is kind of a cross between concert and performance-piece that is basically a modern re-telling of The Little Match Girl. they combine their blend of folk/pop/funk to create a melancholy yet uplifting story about New Years Eve and people with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

perfect.

also, free.

also, Valerie Vigoda:

who has a crazy cool sarah mclachlan-esque voice and plays the electric violin.

i think i love her.

i brought my roomate jim.

who was indifferent:

but then again jim doesn't like sheep:

and really, who doesn't like sheep!!??

but then we lightened up with some quality time in one of my most favorite places in New York City...

UNION SQUARE!

this photo is very blurry.

but i think it makes it feel more holiday-ish.

blurry = new year's.

also, the horse:

did you know that this statue was made by Henry Kirke Brown and unveiled in 1856. and after the fall of Fort Sumter, this location was the site of the largest public rally in North America at that time.

fyi.

i love union square. i think there is something so beautiful about it...and the horseshoe wall that surrounds the statue is one of my favorite writing spots. whether in the summer with skateboarders and peace rallies in abundance...or bundled up just enough to enjoy some time sitting in the crisp, quiet cold of the empty square in winter.

then jim and i decided to seek food and shelter...and fate lent us a hand...

without any reservation...and with the luck of a random cancellation...we scored two places at the kitchen bar seats of Mario Batali's Casa Mono...

i mean, come on! no reservation on new years! and there we were. and there we ate...

and ate...

and drank...

and ate.

and sometimes it is important to spend a little money on food that reminds you there are things in life other than Subway and Jamba Juice.

amazing.

afterwards...so full and content and on cell phone were we:

then we walked...

and we passed 48 W. 21st Street...

where my first meta-play for teenagers was produced in NYC.

my only meta-play for teenagers.

which featured the now famous adam gwon lyric:

"this is not a play
this is just another day
here at 48 west 21st street"

history in the making.

now adam and i are planning to write a dark dissonant musical that features a large blue whale and is to be directed by julie taymor. i think.

so. anyway. jim and i were planning to part ways before midnight...but first we found a nice, quiet bar to have a glass of champagne.

and we met nicole.

who knew jim.

and was drunk.

and i became fascinated with the scissor sisters video featuring people swimming with sharks, eels and jellyfish that was playing on the tv monitors behind the bar...

it reminded me that i must swim with sharks.

but it also reminded me that i had somewhere to go...

the hudson.

the river. not the dreamgirl.

i left jim and headed out towards the water.

i passed people in the streets. crossed the west side highway and walked down the sidewalk on the edge of the water...

past street lights and branches...

grating...

charlotte's web...

and finally, a bench...

now some people may not find this the ideal location to welcome in the new year. but for me...

perfection.

i could hear parties in the distance. and suprisingly the area was pretty empty.

a few people walked by. an older husband and wife sat a few benches down. two people biked by...

it was cold, but not too cold.

and it gave me an opportunity to just let it all go...think about everything i experienced this year...

new people who i am so happy to have in my life...

and old friends i am so grateful to still have in my life...

and janie...

and janie...

and others not pictured...

and family...

and "family"...

and these people...

who i will get to see a lot more of in 2007...doing things like...

and...

and people who i am so lucky to have worked with...and will get to work with again in three short weeks...

and that i went to Maui for the first time...and had the chance to live somewhere new...with a pool on my roof!...and travel to London for my second time...

and that i am leaving the comfort of the day job i have held for 6 years now...and have no idea where 2007 is going to take me...

and at midnight you could hear people screaming...the parties...fireworks started going off on the horizon...

and i was just so happy.

and there were a few drops of rain.

and everything seemed so perfect.

and it's these moments that you want to hold on to forever. just being there. and alive. and content. where you feel like the bench you are sitting on was made for you. for this moment. and that everything is okay.

and then you have to get up off that bench. and go home. and go to work. and make money. and pay the rent. and hurt people. and be hurt by people. and love people. and be loved by people. and share things. and see a good play. a good movie. read a good book. make a new friend. hear a new song. share an experience with a stranger. share an experience with a friend. with a loved one.

and then there are just so many moments to look forward to.

and whatever they are...

i am hoping 2007 brings many more.

happy 2007.

A Very Lynchian Christmas

2006-12-30T18:46:00.000-05:00

i just saw david lynch's Inland Empire

his new film is like a 3-hour version of Mulholland Drive that makes less sense than Eraserhead.

i loved it.

so as i am looking through my photos from christmas (and the week preceding) i realize that i have very Lynch-ian photo instincts and that the best way to blog about my holiday week is via storyboard homage to the Lynch.

so now...
my Inland Empire Christmas:

happy new year.

me mum

2006-12-20T00:47:00.000-05:00

this is me mum:

she came to visit last week...and we had an incredible new york city christmas-time adventure.

it all started at lincoln center...

where this happened:

and this:

and then we saw this:

and this:

now...i have never been a big ballet fanatic...or...whatever.

i had seen the Nutcracker a few times growing up in Connecticut...but this was my first time seeing the New York City Ballet do Balanchine's Nutcracker...AND it was one of the most beautiful things i have ever seen.

i have to admit, i was feeling a little blue after my return from London. and a month-or-so ago, my mother and i were talking about christmas and she told me that one of the first things she had taken me to see as a wee lad was The Nutcracker.

(please note: i am using words like "mum" and "wee lad" to alleviate the brit-less hollow that has been forming in my heart over the last couple weeks)

anyway, she said unlike other wee lads in the audience, i sat through the whole thing completely silent and still -- the little eye parts of my face rapt with attention.

i have no memory of this.

but, when me mum suggested that we pick a night and go see The Nutcracker at Lincoln Center. i said, "sure."

and i do have the christmas spirit...but i didn't expect to see what i saw. it was just so beautiful.

and there were moments where those childhood memories that are tucked away just come flooding out in a subconscious flood of tears.

this happened to me at Chitty Chitty Bang Bang when Raul Esparza started singing "Hushabye Mountain" and i realized that, although i had not seen the movie since i was ten years-old, i knew every word.

at the Nutcracker...it happened when the tree grew:

now that is the tree at normal height.

for anyone who may not be familiar with the nutcracker narrative -- during the transition from christmas party to magical mystical nutcracker-come-to-life excitement...the christmas tree grows from below the stage...and just keeps growing and growing until it has extended way beyond the proscenium into infinity. and then keeps going.

i think this effect must have had an impact on me as a child...because i lost it.

major flooding via cornea.

it was as if i were in therapy and i realized i had been abused as a child.

but, there was no abuse.

just a tree.

and then there were the snowflakes:

and these people:

and more tears.

beauty.

and the music.

and the orchestra.

i think i love ballet.

also, the lobby:

and the balcony overlooking lincoln center:

and me taking artsy photos of me mum on the balcony:

and in front of beaded curtains:

and then there was wine.

and bread.

now me mum does not enjoy posing for pictures, so i get a lot of photos of mum talking.

me mum also reads this blog on occasion.

she appreciates my sense of humor and will thus understand the importance of my posting the following photos of her mid-speak:

and on her cell phone with my brother telling her that he just got a tattoo:

and directing pedestrian traffic:

but she's also a good sport and was willing to take sardonic poses alongside pop-up books:

as well as natural, beautiful poses in front of giant snowflakes (i seriously love this photo):

she even took pictures of me as a jack-in-the-box:

and with my long-haired doppelganger:

we also took in some skaters:

some st. patrick's cathedral:

some santa on tin drum:

and some bizarre winter windows:

and now...

i am not one to get all sentimental and bloggy...but this entry will now take a little departure from humorous narrative into sincere and christmas-spirity sentiment.

i had the most wonderful night with my mom. there is nothing like walking around New York City in December and just taking in the beauty of the season with the woman who gave birth to this creation known as me. who took me to the Nutcracker as a child. who would describe everything that was happening in A Chorus Line as we listened to the tape on the car stereo. who (along with my father) would take me into the city to see a Broadway musical for my birthday. who gave me my passion and the opportunities to pursue my dreams.

not to mention, my sense of humor. my sarcasm. my brilliant wit, wisdom and wack.

i mean, she brought me The Happy Holiday Hearth dvd for our chilly williamsburg living room!!

brilliant.

in Billy Elliot (the musical) -- Billy's teacher, Mrs. Wilkinson, reads a very moving letter that Billy's deceased mother had left for him. At the end of the song, Mrs. Wilkinson says:

"She must have been a very special woman"

and Billy replies,

"No. She was just me mum."

this is me mum:

and she is very much alive.

and i love her.

and now on this cold winter night...as i lie in bed...my wreath-scented candles burning...the feline cuddled up by my feet...i am so proud to add her to my repertoire of blog entries that end with an extended arm two-shot of me with somebody who i am so lucky to have in my life:

thanks mum.

The Blog of Christmas Past

2006-12-15T14:40:00.000-05:00

so. i have a lot of christmas spirit this year.

and i just can't stop blogging about it.

there is one more holiday photo adventure in the works...but for now, i thought i might be appropriate to bring you a little blog repeat.

last year i wrote (what i believe to be) one my best blog entries ever.

ya' know...the one about christmas specials!

it seems that television syndication and repetition tends to bring certain mediocre, yet festive fare into the realm of "classic."

so, here i hope to do the same.

and with the exception of my reference to Roger Toussaint and the transit strike, i would like to believe that this entry is somewhat timeless...

click here:
WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT

or go here:
http://ourface.blogspot.com/2005/12/what-christmas-is-all-about.html

SantaLand.

2006-12-09T00:17:00.000-05:00

i love christmas in new york.

i love walking around the city...the crisp, cool air...

walking past the windows...

watching the skaters in rockefeller center...

walking past st. patricks cathedral...and radio city music hall...

browsing the craft fair in union square...

but more than anything...i love going to visit santa in SantaLand!!

this is casey.

she also loves SantaLand.

although she is confused whether SantaLand is one word -- or two

i am confused by plastic elves with automated phelanges...

but i do enjoy a good fish pop...

for those of you may be unaware...SantaLand is conveniently located in the heart of New York City...

Macy's.

Eighth floor.

Right across from Au Bon Pain.

this is where Natalie Wood first met Kris Kringle...

and discovered the true meaning of christmas.

this was especially meaningful to casey in her childhood because casey (aka cassandra) is Puerto-Rican and natalie wood played one of her people in the film version of West Side Story.

so we set out to find santa and discover the true meaning of christmas.

we walked into a little train car...with motion-simulated windows...

and arrived in the north pole...right at the entrance to...

we then continued on a path through a magical world filled with ice-skating bears...

enchanted trees...

dancing canadians...

and an inexplicably stationary polar bear...

but we were thrown a little off track by an unpredictable jack-in-the-box...

and these people...

but we knew we were getting pretty close to santa when we passed the elves busy at work!

we were almost there...

a friendly elf led us around a corner...and there he was...SANTA!!!

santa asked us what we wanted for christmas.

casey told santa that she wanted a new bicycle. and tapas.

i told santa that i didn't really know what i wanted...but that i would be unemployed in march, so a new job come spring would be nice.

then santa gave us puzzles.

what a great day at SantaLand!

London.

2006-12-06T23:38:00.000-05:00

i love london.

i also love waterfalls with aquatic men and fish.

i have only been to london once before...and, yes, it was love.

my friend Marcie lives there.

now.

behind that blue door.

so i decide to go on a little vacation...and visit Marcie.

Wednesday Evening...

i get on the red-eye at JFK and sit next to a woman who was a backup singer for Rufus Wainwright. she has taken Clonopen to relieve anxiety and help her sleep on the plane. i have taken benadryl. she takes benadryl. i decide to take a sleeping pill. she takes a sleeping pill. i take a second sleeping pill. then i have a glass of wine.

this may have seemed like a bad idea...but we had the most incredible sleep-aid-enduced conversation about spirtuality, quantum physics, the power of now, the science of sleep and philip seymour hoffman...

then we passed out.

and woke up in...

LONDON!!!

so this trip did not have the action-adventure element of my recent maui excursion. it was more of a mellow wandering sort of adventure.

but there were many exciting things to be seen! such as...

a gaggle of little girls in red coats...

a person pretending to be a statue...

condiments...

salad...

a snowman on stilts...

a tiny car...

a mysterious phone booth...

and, of course...SLIDAYS!

please see prior entry for more info on the slidays...and humorous film clip

or just go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hl5JrBBY6B8

i also managed to take in a few west-end musicals.

EVITA!

starring the amazing real-life Argentinian Elena Rogers and featuring brilliant choreography by Rob Ashford -- our very own CURTAINS choreographer!! which is coming to Broadway this Spring! ((bias and shameless promotion))

i didn't realize how much i really love Evita, until goosebumps covered my little gay metatarsals the moment Eva Peron slowly walked on to the balcony to sing "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina." the memories came rushing back!...buying cheap balcony seats in high school to see the touring production at the Shubert Theatre in New Haven...Madonna's brilliant death scene in the Alan Parker film...

and then i saw one of the best pieces of theatre i have ever seen. ever. in my life.

BILLY ELLIOT.

this is not a joke.

i have not cried so much in a show since i was 10 years old and was forced to play a singing "punk" squirrel with a bandana in a children's operetta called Barrington Bunny.

there were three standing ovations in the middle of the show. (billy elliot. not barrington bunny.) and let me tell you something...

brits don't stand.

it was so beautiful, moving...seriously, one of the best things i have ever seen. me crying. lots of people crying.

and an added bonus...i was sitting right across the aisle from MATT DAMON!

i love matt damon.

i love him very much.

at intermission, people were hounding him for autographs and pictures.

i just stared.

he was very nice to everyone...but i didn't want to be one of "those" people and have Matt Damon sign my Billy Elliot program. also, that doesn't make sense.

but i confess, i snuck my camera out and took this quick shot:

he looked great.

but not as great as all the christmas lights and decorations covering the city...

[CLICK on photos below for optimum viewing!!]

also, mannequins...

and wreaths...

the city of london also provides many great opportunities for spontaneous artistic photo ops...

sometimes featuring trees...

or mirrors...

or second cameras...

or just the city itself...

[seriously, CLICK ON THESE to make them larger]

everything is more beautiful in london.

even the bookstores...

and one of my favorite places -- the used book fair in front of the national film center...

...where i made a great find...

this would prove very useful when confronted with the following...

or Makay Minay...

all in all...it was a wonderful trip. no volcano bike rides or shark cages...but a nice relaxing christmas time adventure with an amazing friend. and although london can be expensive, i got a little stomach bug on saturday and sunday and saved lots of money on food. highly recommended.

the end.

Photo Op

2006-12-06T12:16:00.000-05:00

Christmas Lights in London

Intro to Slidays 101

2006-12-04T22:01:00.000-05:00

I just got back from London.

And I promise a full fledged dave-travel blog in the near future...but for now...

A film.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hl5JrBBY6B8

about my dear friend Loo.

with some covert tate-modern camera work by yours truly.

also, this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7dFBJby1ow

enjoy.

Jean-Michel

2006-11-28T22:31:00.000-05:00

Zhis iz Jean-Michel:

Jean-Michel iz le orange creature. Not le chat.

Jean-Michel iz french, but works wiz me at zee Roundabout. He works in General Managemeent.

However, Jean-Michel took some time out of iz busy schedule to vizit me in L.A. zhis past summair.

Jean-Michel loves L.A.:

Jean-Michel, like most of zee L.A. types, subsitutes spinach for hiz Canadian Bacon during hiz regular Sunday Brunch:

Jean-Michel loves Sunday Brunch:

And everyone loves Jean-Michel. Including zee Paige:

And le chat:

Tomorrow I leave for London. I am going to go to the Tate Modern and ride zee slidays:

I would invite Jean-Michel. But Jean-Michel hates London.

Jean-Michel loves Paris!

And zee asian people.

Liz Taylor and Shark

2006-09-21T16:29:00.000-04:00

This is the best news I have heard all day!

Liz Taylor, despite congestive heart failure, near-fatal viral pneumonia and osteoporosis, three hip replacements and a benign brain tumour, lived out the dave-dream of all dave-dreams...SHE GOT IN A SHARK CAGE!

"Seemingly oblivious to her ever-deteriorating health, the wheelchair-bound star donned a mask and snorkel, and plunged feet first into the Pacific Ocean for a shark-viewing excursion.

Wearing a baggy white t-shirt over an all-in-one swimming costume, she maintained a modicum of glamour with perfectly manicured red nails and several sparkly bangles."

I am so jealous yet inspired. Once I have enough money, I am diving in!

Sans red nails and "sparkly bangles."

Read all about it HERE!

Office Drama Continues!

2006-09-18T14:13:00.000-04:00

so. i've been away for the summer.

now, I'm back at the good ol' day job.

it's just great to be back.

behind a desk.

just great.

super.

loving it.

(long pause)

but, anyway, it is interesting to come back to the familiar and catch up on all the good office drama. the things that have been going on here...well, things are always pretty crazy in the offices of a not-for-proit theatre company.

you thought it was bad before (CLICK HERE to go BACK TO BEFORE), but now things are just...well, they're out of control!!!

Frodo is now riding Sebastian LaRonte...whom you may recognize from his role as the Shark in JAW 3-D (also starring Dennis Quaid and Lea Thompson).

Frodo has his magical little sword all poised and ready for the kill...

but Frodo also has a little secret...

he has kidnapped Charlie Brown.

now seriously, this makes me kinda sad. especially because today on my Peanuts day-to-day calendar, Lucy once again pulled the football away just before Charlie Brown kicked it.

now little CB is in a hobbit's napsack riding atop killer shark.

fucking hobbits.

but who knows if little Frodo really has the upper hand here. Sebastian LaRonte has his own little secret...

yes. psychotic LOST fanatics. Sebastian LaRonte is 100% DHARMA shark.

[NOTE: if you are not a fan o' LOST - a full, yet humorous explanation of the dharma shark phenomenon can be found HERE. trust me, this is not worth reading. but you'll be so glad you did.]

moving on...

Snoopy (aka The Red Baron) is doing his best to outrun LaRonte on his sturdy water-durable tractor...but he seems to be heading right towards the infamous square-shaped forcefield that once held Babe the pig and has now managed to inveigle Buffy.

[NOTE: "Inveigle" is a word i just learned. it means "to entice, lure, or ensnare by flattery or artful talk or inducements."]

clever forcefield.

Buffy is looking mighty Keanu in her attempts to escape. But once again, her little wooden dagger is doing her no good.

Buffy has not yet learned that forcefield does not equal vampire.

and to make matters worse...Bigfoot is shakin' up that forcefield...which (note to psychotic LOST fanatics, seems to be mysteriously linked to the Hanso foundation.)

but the Hanso foundation's mysterious square-shaped forcefield looks like it is about to take a hit, as Spiderman prolapses down from above!

[NOTE: "Prolapse" is a word i just learned. it means "The falling down or slipping out of place of an organ or part, such as the uterus."]

the Iron Giant is still suffering shrinkage, as a result of his bold attempt to free Babe the Pig from the Hanso forcefield, but has now grabbed on to Spidey in a heroic attempt to save him from meeting a similar fate.

and, yes...that is Babe the Pig high above. Making a quick escape on Yzma's cart.

you may remember Yzma, the character voiced by Eartha Kitt, in the llama-filled Disney animated adventure, The Emperor's New Groove:

but while Babe may think he is heading into a future of tranquility -- a haven of file cabinets and flourescent lights -- he is acutally heading right towards...

...A LITTLE BLUE ALIEN!!

and while Kyle and the Happy Monk (with cellular phone and espresso) had once been observing the action from a safe vantage point. their non-grassy knoll seems to have been disturbed by an R2-D2 and Sara Skolnick dance party:

that crazy dancing Skolnick is shaking things up with her crazy Jesus jokes:

in keeping with tradition, i now bring you a wide shot of the complete action:

and now a Spielbergian re-cap:

god, it's rough being back at the day job.

---

postscript --

if you were intrigued by the Spiderman bodypaint shot and are feeling incredibly brave...CLICK HERE

Photo Op

2006-09-14T01:05:00.000-04:00

WINDOW OF LITTLE MEXICAN RESTAURANT
SOMEWHERE IN NEW HAVEN, CONNECTICUT

Hawaii and ii

2006-08-24T20:50:00.000-04:00

so...

i went to hawaii for my birthday.

i have, what is now, a 2-year-old tradition of turning off the cell for the day and venturing off alone to enjoy and embrace life on my day of birth. this year I was working in California for the summer, so I figured...why not go to Maui for the weekend!?

as someone who is desperate for my thirties and in denial that i have one last year to spend in the land of the twenty-somethings, i needed something to inspire me...welcome me into this strange void of a year with a little bang.

so, yeah...maui.

equal part adventure and escape.

I was there for 3 days, 3 nights...and i think i did everything i could possibly do in 96 hours.

i got in on friday night. it was dark.

the roads were dark....not a lot of streetlights, so you don't really know where you are.

it looked kind of like this:

then i awoke on saturday morning (at 6am muthafuckas!) and actually got to see where i was staying:

this was the view from my room.

((NOTE: If you actually click on these pictures, they look much bigger and better))

a garden, a pool, and the ocean...in the not too distant horizon.

you walk out and cross the street and come to this beach. my beach:

i could have just sat here for 3 days...but au contrair my ohana...it was time for a little snorkel cruise!

((by the way -- "Ohana means family." I learned that from watching Lilo and Stitch...and it actually won me a free poster and a lot of respect from my fellow tourists on my snorkel cruise! thanks Disney!))

so i drove to makena harbor and got on this boat:

...that took a group of us to the Molokini Crater. which looks like this:

i did not take this picture.

but that's where we were!!

and i did take this one of the water when you look over the side of the boat:

there is a visibility of over 200 feet and those black spots are fish.

Molokini (as one of my friendly boat guides told me) is one of the top dive sites in the world. it is also a marine preserve since it is an area where many tropical fish and birds congregate...so nothing in the area can be harmed. and while i did not pay the exorbitant amount that my friendly boat guide was suggesting to "rent" an underwater camera...opting, rather, to jump in and soak in (ha ha ha) the experience...i assure you it looked something like this:

and this:

this is no joke.

amazing. clear blue water. tropical fish everywhere. and me.

then we moved to another location where i swam with giant turtles.

again, no tourist-trap rental camera. but it looked something like this:

and this:

and although these pictures have been pulled from Molokini websites...in order to provide you with a little dave-was-really-there authenticity, my brother recently helped me re-create some of my undocumented experiences during a recent visit to the American Museum of Natural History:

they warned us of reef sharks. i didn't see any. but in honor of my exorbitant imagination...i have re-created my incredible escape at Molokini:

okay...but seriously. here are a few REAL shots before i got in the water:

and a few above-water shots of our second turtle-scouting location:

that night i went to bed very early because i was being picked up at 2:30am for my birthday morning adventure!

i woke up at 2am and wandered to the front entrance of my resort. the street looked something like this:

pretty soon a van appeared out of the darkness...

I thought for a moment...

"What would Tom Cruise do?"...

and got in.

the van was full, so i squeezed into the back seat with my new best friends Donna and...i can't remember his name. shit. Walt? Wally? he was real nice though.

anyway, they took us to a little shack in the middle of nowhere...and we all got out of the van and gathered around a video monitor telling us about the dangers and safety precautions involved in our upcoming adventure. we signed a waiver that said we could die...and then hopped right back into the van!

...and as we drove and drove on and on...and up and up...in the pitch dark of night, we were all soon fast asleep.

we were awakened at the top of Haleakala. a dormant volcano that covers most of Eastern Maui. it was still dark, but the stars were brighter than i've ever seen. seriously amazing. it was freezing cold and we had to run to use the restroom and get back to the van where we all huddled together and had muffins, orange juice and coffee. (i had orange juice since coffee gives me migraines. fyi.)

then we got suited up in the most stylish windbreaker jumpsuits (stay tuned for photo!) and went out to the edge of the crater...above the clouds...to watch the sunrise:

pretty soon the sky started changing color...

and the sun started to peak...revealing the volcano, land and ocean around us...and the clouds below:

me with sunrise:

then it was off to our bikes!

and down the volcano!

we biked down 39 miles...coasting down at about 17 - 20mph. which...let me tell you...is pretty fast (thus the "you could die" waiver). and you start above the clouds so you are literally going through clouds, the cold air rushing by, the newly risen sun on your face. amazing. and kinda scary. and amazing. and kinda thrilling. and the view...

and me in my intense biker gear...

and my favorite team bikers...

donna and carol rode in the van. but c'mon, carol had a broken arm. i think her name was carol. shit! but she was real nice. and, anyway, they were all fran & barry to me. (Amazing Race Fran & Barry! not Chicago!)

and here i am in my hot "hi, i'm a tourist" windbreaker outfit...

so anyway, we flew by forests, cows, cow-poo, ridiculously beautiful homes...stopping occasionally to take pictures, lose layers of clothes (as we descended to normal hawaiian temperatures) and even have a little breakfast at a cute little podunk mexican cafe.

we ended up in a sugar cane field. and here from where we finished, you can see the top of the volcano...from where we started!...in the distance:

it was only about 10:30am when i got home and i passed out...but not for long, since there was beach to be had.

and...more importantly...my birthday pineapple!!

now i had heard about Maui pineapple...but i never believe food things are going to be anything special...

a pineapple is a pineapple is a pineapple, thought dave.

so wrong was dave.

i bought myself a full pineapple and plunged in for the attack:

i cannot tell you how good this pineapple was. i almost ate the whole pineapple. seriously.

so then...the perfect way to end my little b-day and begin my 30th year of existence...

my very first LUAU!!!!

and my very first Mai Tai:

and my very fun table-mate family from Boston:

and a dead pig:

and hula dancers:

and our waiter Nick.

we like Nick:

so, one last day.

and one more big adventure...

the Road to Hana.

a windy road...wait...is windy (as in 'whine-dy') spelled the same as windy (as in Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day)? hmm...

i guess it is. anyway....

there is a three hour drive around the north side of the island that is the only road that goes to the small historic town of Hana. you almost puke from going around so many twists and turns on such a narrow road for such a long time. but it's worth it. and you stop a lot...to avoid puking and to see various little hidden treasures of nature....

cliffs...

beautiful vistas...

me taking pictures of myself in front of beautiful vistas...

waterfalls...

me taking pictures of myself in front of beautiful waterfalls...

a black sand beach...

forests...

gardens...

horses...or forsies...as my brother used to call them was he was little and had no front teeth...

and an old man on a kayak...

i also saw a duck sitting on a cow.

the road was too narrow to stop and take a picture. but i swear on my jurassic park dvd that i saw a duck just sitting on the back of a cow.

and that was pretty much it. three days of paradise. and three of the best days of my life! pictures and words don't capture the beauty and peace i experienced on this trip...the time alone just living and being.

and yes, that may be the cheesiest and blogiest thing i have ever written on this blog.

but whatever!

it was amazing. and it was difficult trying to find reasons why i should actually get back on the plane and not just stay in maui and be tan and go swimming with giant turtles for the rest of my life.

i don't know if i actually found any good reasons to leave...but somehow i ended back at the airport...where...get ready for this...i shared a plane from hawaii to L.A. with Samuel L. Jackson!

ah, what a perfect way to end the perfect vacation...

Photo Op

2006-08-01T04:33:00.000-04:00

i like photography.

i don't consider myself a photographer...

but sometimes i get lucky.

i have decided to post some photos every now and then.

FIREWORKS OVER TOMORROWLAND

Change of Locale

2006-07-20T04:43:00.000-04:00

I'm in L.A.

As in Los Angeles.

As in Los Angeles, California.

Home of the In-and-Out Burger and the Jurassic Park Ride.

I am not in New York.

As in New York City.

Although that is where I am usually found.

Los Angeles, California is a place where I would never have expected to live. Mainly because I now have to say Pacific Daylight Time after many years of saying let’s watch Jurassic Park tonight around 8:15pm Eastern Standard Time.

But no worries...those who know me and know how "un-LA" I am....Los Angeles is not my new home. I am only here on a temporary basis.

But I DO have to say...that in the few weeks that I have been here, I have adjusted quite well. Well, at least I've tried to.

My friend Jill does not believe that I am here and demanded some proof. And although I do not usually write directly about myself online, I thought I might as well kill a few pigeons with a puerto rican stone and just share some pictures of my crazy new life.

This is my new car:

Well, it was my new car. I wasn’t very happy with it. So I asked the theatre that I am working for if I could get something a little flashier. They got me this:

This is where I am living:

There is a nice pool out back:

And people here seem really nice. In fact, this is the woman I am currently staying with:

So, I am trying real hard to fit in:

Okay, fine.

As Anna Paquin once said in The Piano. “I tell a lie.”

She also said “She says it’s her piano and she won’t have him touch it!”

But that seems less relevant.

Confession: The above images DO NOT faithfully represent my current L.A. lifestyle.

But seriously...I am trying so hard!! I wear sunglasses and tank tops. And the theatre has provided me with a brand new PT Cruiser. I named him Anderson and I drive around listening to "Bad Day" on repeat. Very L.A.!!

Here is Anderson:

And here is where I am living:

A nice little downtown studio apartment...with a nice little kitchen:

And bathroom...(featuring me in mirror!):

And most exciting...for a young starving-artist New Yorker like myself...my own combination washer/dryer!!! Here it is:

I have named him Herbie. Herbie is also the name of my i-pod and laptop. Perhaps it is a name that I overuse, but it always seems so right.

So, yes...I can do my laundry in my bathroom. This is quite a novelty for me. So, I have been doing laundry constantly. Every night I come home and just throw whatever clothes I can find in the washer...even they are clean. Why? Because I can.

And there is a pool on the roof. Although I don’t have the energy to go upstairs and take a picture. But it's nice.

During my first week here I walked by Matt Dillon and saw a car crash. Very Paul Haggis.

I also visited the famous La Brea tar pits. Very Jurassic Park.

Here is a shot of the tar pits with faux elephants:

And here is my attempt to Spielberg-arize the experience:

Also, I like to say Spielbergarize. Why has nobody used this word before!? (Or have they...)

Also, there was a raptor cage. Or something that I believed to be a raptor cage:

Also, me with tar:

I visited the nearby Los Angeles County Museum of Art:

I went and saw A Scanner Darkly at 8:30pm pacific daylight time at the famous Arclight Cinerama dome:

The premiere for You, Me and Dupree was going on. Movie premieres. Very L.A.

I thought people seeing a film in the famous Arclight cinema dome in Los Angeles were probably somehow connected to the film...or that it would be somewhat of a religious experience and that everyone would sit in silence through all the end credits. I was wrong.

Then I went to Disneyland.

And conquered my childhood fear of Space Mountain...

...my fear of descending ceilings with spikes...

...as well as my fear of clown fish...

I am saving my return to the dinos for a special day. Be prepared...

Oh yeah. But I am actually here to work. And that is basically all I am doing right now. I am in tech for a new Kander & Ebb/Rupert Holmes musical opening at the Ahmanson. Here is the outside of the Ahmanson. It is kind of like Lincoln Center in the middle of downtown Los Angeles. A beautiful place to go to work every day:

And the other side of the plaza...with fountain:

I love it.

I think our show is going very well...and we are all having an amazing time.

So, yeah. Right now I am kind of loving the Los Angeles life. Amazing weather, no NYC summer humidity, Disneyland and dinos! I have no complaints. I think I am more of a New Yorker...but who knows...maybe I could live here for awhile. But I guess I am still living and working on a New York Broadway-style musical...so maybe I am not that L.A. after all.

Oh! But speaking of which...here is a little glimpse behind the scenes of our show (shhh!). It’s quite an elaborate production. Huge cast, enormous sets. Proabably the biggest production I, personally, have ever been involved in. But I guess this is just how things are done here in Los Angeles, California. Pacific Daylight Time...

A few things...

2006-04-30T02:21:00.000-04:00

1. I am bad at blogging.

2. I have been really busy, but have a few subjects that I would like to explore here soon.

3. The subjects I plan to blog about are:

a) the fact that i think Herbie 2 (my mini ipod) is some kind of oracle

b) the fact that I am reading The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker and it has changed my life. ((small note: i knocked over all 37 display shelves of The DaVinci Code that were standing at the entrance of my local Barnes and Noble in an attempt to find a copy of this book.))

3a. Today's trivia: How many copies of The DaVinci Code are sold per day?

3b. Today's alternate trivia question: How many Robin Williams movies are made per day?

4. I don't know why I am bothering to write this entry. I am actually hoping that it will inspire me to do a more full and detailed entry in the near future. And if it's not about either of the subjects that appear above (in #2), it may be about Robin Williams. Or the distribution of taco salad as a solution for ending war. Not this current war, necessarily. Just war in general.

5. I think the only time anyone reads this is when I think I've written something worthwhile and I e-mail all my friends to tell them how proud I am of my own work.

6. I'm not going to do that this time.

Office Drama

2006-03-22T16:05:00.000-05:00

As is the case with any office space...the place where I work during the day is often filled with real-life human drama.

Or rather...real-life human drama, comedy and full-out violence.

I was not going to use names to describe what has been going on in my office lately, but since I work in a theatre office (that shall remain nameless!)...I figure that most of the people involved in the incidents described below may actually be known to most and identifiable by their photographs.

So, no pseudonyms necessary.

Let's get to the point.

There is major fight going on in my office.

My co-worker John and I have to walk by it every day...and it has been going on for months!

It looks like there is no signs of it stopping...

Here is where things stand...as of now...

Buffy seems to have climbed on top of Jaws and is about to drive a wooden stake into his flesh. R2-D2 has also grabbed on to the mighty shark at the last moment and is trying to make his way towards Buffy before she impales him with her stake and all hell breaks loose.

Buffy does not seem to know that wooden stakes do not kill Great White Sharks, they only provoke.

And at the same time, not very far away...

Babe, the pig has been enclosed in some kind of square shaped force-field.

Spiderman was attempting to save the little pig, but Frodo Baggins will have none of that! He has snuck up behind Spidey, and is taking him down! Bigfoot has arrived just in time to help! Bigfoots like hobbits.

Meanwhile, the Iron Giant has become smaller than both the hobbit, pig and superhero...perhaps some kind of reaction resulting from his contact with the strange square-shaped force-field as he attempts to free the pig and truly earn his superman status.

From a safe vantage point, a little ways away...Kyle and the Happy Monk (with cellular phone and espresso) look on.

Here is a full view of the action as it occurs in real space and time:
And now...for you cinephiles! The Wachowski Brother version...

Who knows what will happen next week...

Stay tuned...

The winners are...

2006-03-13T02:55:00.000-05:00

Every year, on the first Sunday in March...Americans unite to honor the very best cinematic acheivements of the year.

This year was no exception. We gathered in front of our television sets this past sunday and saw the truly remarkable artistic endeavors of 2005 receive their just rewards.

In honor of this tremendous ceremony, I have decided to do my own statistical summary and bring you a little rundown of the Academy Awards for the Best Cinematic Accomplishments...EVER.

Please keep in mind...this has nothing to do with opinion. These are, in fact, the best films ever.

Ladies and Gentleman, the winners...

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY...EVER

Citizen Kane

BEST COSTUME DESIGN...EVER

Gone With The Wind

BEST ANIMATED FILM...EVER

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

BEST SCREENPLAY...EVER

Citizen Kane

(Two wins in one night! what a night for Orson Welles!!)

BEST DIRECTOR...EVER

Steven Spielberg

BEST ACTOR...EVER

Jack Nicholson

BEST ACTRESS...EVER

Meryl Streep

BEST PICTURE...EVER

Crash.

A Trip To Connecticut

2006-03-05T17:05:00.000-05:00

So, I went to Connecticut yesterday. Had an amazing time. Saw two of my closest friends, saw a wonderful production of Urinetown (the musical) at my old high school put on by my favorite theatrical family since the Von Trapps, The Smiths. It was just a wonderful weekend.

But the most memorable moment was driving past the good ol' Hamden Dairy Queen. And I was even able to snap a quick pic out the window as we sped past. Truly a remarkable moment.

Jurassic Otter

2006-02-24T11:42:00.000-05:00

I just saw this in today's New York Times.

And while a part of me would like to believe that I was a T-Rex or Velociraptor in a previous life...I think my true Jurassic identity has been revealed.

A new fossil has been discovered; that of a small "part beaver, part otter, part platypus" mammal that lived in China 164 million years ago! Before it was thought that mammals could have spent that much of their lives in water.

I think I was one of these mammals.

Reasons why I think this:

1.

NY TIMES: "The extinct species appears to have been an amalgam of animals."

DAVE: I like all kinds of animals.

2.

NY TIMES: "Its likely lifestyle — burrowing in tunnels on shore and dog-paddling in water — reminds scientists of the modern platypus."

DAVE: I like to burrow. Metaphorically. And am terrified yet intrigued by the platypus. I also like water. As long as there are no sharks or snake-like creatures in it.

I also have just discovered that I like the phrase "metaphoric burrowing."

3.

NY TIMES: "It had a broad, scaly tail, flat like a beaver's."

DAVE: I have a broad, scaly tail, flat...just like a beavers!

4.

NY TIMES: "Its skeleton suggests that it was about 20 inches long, from snout to the tip of its tail, about the length of a small house cat. "

DAVE: I once had to put my pet cat Frosty to sleep. It made me very sad. But she was old and had lived a long life. She also had a gross tumor growing out of her face.

And if you play that drag queen name..."Your drag name is the name of your first pet and the first street you lived on"...my drag name would be Frosty Fairy Glen. But I am not a drag queen.

I do; however, like cats.

5.

NY TIMES: "the fossil skeleton showed that some mammals occupied more diverse ecological niches than had been suspected in the Jurassic Period, an age dominated by dinosaurs. "

DAVE: Come on. That is just so me. Diverse ecological niches!!

6.

NY TIMES: "The semiaquatic mammal was uncovered in the same hilly country where paleontologists have collected fossils of feathered dinosaurs and two 130-million-year-old animals that did not fit the lowly image of mammals of that period. One of them, the size of an opossum, had feasted on a small dinosaur just before dying. "

DAVE:

More sophisticated than the other "lowly" mammals of the period!

Uncovered in the hilly country!!

Feasting on dinosaurs, but probably deep down inside actually a little envious of their natural drive and violent charisma!!!

Me, me and me.

I was feeling a little sad today. But sometimes it's nice to take a little visit to the past and realize who you truly are...

For more in-depth Jurassic Otter information, check out the article...HERE.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2006-02-14T12:29:00.000-05:00

So...I know I'm an incredibly inconsistent blogger.

But I'm just feeling the love in the universe today.

I also just saw Final Destination 3...and while I am not planning to ride any roller coasters in the near future (or ever again!)...I am now afraid of random, freakish and incredibly gory chain-of-event deaths...so, I would like to take this opportunity to share with you what could, in fact, be my final message of pure love and happiness.

Today I feel blessed to have so many incredible people and experiences in my life. My heart is a-burstin'...and not in a Final Destination-sorta way.

But with bursting, one does think of many things.

And they all seem to be red.

So...for Valentine's Day 2006...

A list of THINGS THAT ARE RED

Red Peppers

A red M&M

Clifford, the Big Red Dog!

also available in man-suit version

Julianne Moore's coat in the FAR FROM HEAVEN poster

A red tagine.

A traditional method of cooking in North Africa.

Best for a slow cook with spices. And for making couscous.

red converse

(i actually have a pair of these. but they are not high top. fyi.)

thermal underwear

(i do not have a pair of these. fyi.)

Cranberry Bogs

(ah! memories of childhood summers on Cape Cod.)

(and bladder infections.)

The Red Balloon.

the greatest french film ever made.

Little Red Ridinghood

and who can forget Santa...

...stop lights...

...and salsa!

or a delicious...

red apple.

which was made notorious in this famous moment from a Classic Disney film:

sure. she's smiling now...!

and while i hate to be blog-petitive.

Canadians are red:

DQ logos too:

And of course I am wearing my red hoodie today and feel a lot like this

sans Elliot stand-in.

but most importantly...on this beautiful Valentine's Day...

the most important anatomically incorrect icon of love and beauty:

A heart.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Lists...

2006-01-09T14:37:00.000-05:00

So...I never really understand Best and Worst Lists...

I guess we read them to agree or disagree...to reflect on our own year of media and experience...and to prove to others why we are right.

However, this was the year that I lost all perspective.

I liked everything. (Well...almost everything.)

And I was even told by more than a few people that my opinion was not to be trusted anymore because I was too positive.

Well, so what?! I've been having a good year...I'm full of positive energy and hope...I am open and appreciative...

And really...what person who might actually be reading this really cares what my favorite movies, books, whatever of the year were anyway!?!?!

So, here they are.

the cinema

(in no particular order)

1. MUNICH

perfect.

i like this Spielberg guy. and who is this Tony Kushner?! a singing washing machine at the 1972 olympics!? brilliant.

7. THE HISTORY OF VIOLENCE

In my opinion...Cronenberg's best film. And I loved Crash. Yes, I did. (The one where James Spader fucks Roseanna Arquette's scar in a car wash...not the Sandra-Bullock-is-now-an-indie-actress movie).

Cronenberg should win an Oscar. or something shiny. Maybe this:

5-E. GRIZZLY MAN

Okay...seriously! Where did this come from!? I had heard about it when it was in the theatres and never really thought about it one way or the other. Finally saw it last week on dvd...and I was fascinated, moved...and even inspired...

Seriously...not only the Best Documentary of the Year. One of the best films I saw all year. Incredible. I just added a lot of Werner Herzog to my Netflix list.

also, i love the music...the final Richard Thompson song, "Coyotes," is gorgeous.

4-D. THE SQUID AND THE WHALE

Vassar-be-proud. Noah Baumbach went to my school. I used to live in Park Slope. I have spent a number of my frequent "wander-alone-in-New-York" days in the underwater room at the Natural History Museum. In fact, it is one of my favorite places in the whole world.

The actual story...characters...nothing in common.

Still. An amazing movie. And another amazing soundtrack.

I wish I had been alive in the 70s. Or at least older than 2. Actually, I would have like to be Elijah Wood in The Ice Storm...but not get electrocuted.

The 70s fascinate me. A lot of subdued angst, divorce and electrocution.

Moving on...

48. MYSTERIOUS SKIN

Amazing. I mean, did people not see this?! Will this be up for awards? I was so happy it made the NY Times Best of the Year List. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was incredible. Gregg Araki made a beautiful film. The final moment is unforgettable...

...as well as the snowfall at the abandoned drive-in...
Some of the most incredible images of the year...a living book. And it was a book. I need to read this.

Also, amazing score.

63. KING KONG

i cried.

a lot.

especially when there were three T-Rexes in one shot. i love the dinos, so it was all incredibly overwhelming.

also i was very moved by the Kong/Watts relationship. maybe it's because my first boyfriend tried to throw me off the Empire State Building.

12c. WALLACE AND GROMIT: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit

the most i've laughed all year. all the kids in the theatre kept staring at me like i was crazy. i had to explain to them that brits, rabbits and cheese are incredibly funny. especially when portrayed by clay. i would have gone right back in and watched it again, but i saw it with my mother who actually thought the 5-minute short starring the 'Madagascar' penguins was the entire movie. She couldn't understand why Wallace and Gromit weren't in it and left.

G2. BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

okay. personally, i liked Ice Storm more -- I think it was Ang Lee's best film and one of my favorite movies of all time. And Brokeback is wonderful...don't get me wrong...I just wish Ice Storm had gotten some of the same attention and awards. But I do love it and it's good for my people.

Gorgeous score.

P3. MATCH POINT

Again...love Woody Allen. A huge fan of his earlier work (again with the 70s!)...and his dramas... Interiors, Crimes and Misdemeanors, September...love them all.

Match Point was one of his best films in a loooong time. The last half-hour was so intense I almost died. Then it ended and I kept on living.

Honorable Mentions: CAPOTE and RENT

Two great new musicals. Both feature stellar performances from Phillip Seymour Hoffman as a bitchy gay drag queen in a santa suit.

I told my mother I loved "In Cold Blood" as well as the Capote movie and received a pile of everything that has ever been written by or about Capote for Christmas.

Next year I'll tell her I love Szechuan Chicken and see what happens...

Now, I don't like to do a "Worst" list...because it's just unnecessarily cruel. And, like I said, I loved everything...

BUT...

i will say, that there were two big things this year that really confused me.

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF DEAD CHILDREN

and

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA

Now, don't start hating me yet. I have never been a huge Harry Potter fan. I read three of the books. I enjoyed the first two movies, thought the third movie was amazing...but this time, I just didn't get it. Now I am going to ruin some of the plot here, so if you are one of two people who hasn't seen or read this...I warned you.

Now...let me get this straight...Harry's name appears in some goblet of magic and he then has to compete in a tournament in which students can be killed. They say this at the beginning..."Students can be killed."

Meanwhile, the most evil being in the universe is still after Harry...And the faculty can't make an exception because the goblet told them so!!!??? And then they all sit up in the bleachers and watch students almost get mauled by dragons, tie innocent classmates up underwater so the contestants will think they are dead and finally they send them off into a dark wooded maze with attacking tree limbs...AND at the end of all this they are all surprised and distraught when one of them is killed?!!? EXCUSE ME?!!!!

And to make it all okay, Dumbledore apologizes and tells Harry that he "put him in a lot of danger this year."

Um...yeah.

Now would you send your kids to a school where your children can be killed in an athletic tournament? Now I understand there are accidents in real life...people can die playing football or field hockey -- games meant to encourage physical activity as well as encourage social skills and "teamwork"...but dragons are a little different.

My conclusion: The school should be shut down. And Harry should be put into some kind of Witness Protection Program. The End.

And NARNIA!! First of all...there are cute talking beavers, a cute half-deer man, a kind lion thing...then Santa shows up and gives the kids weapons. Santa!!!??

I just don't get it.

He might as well have given them a copy of KILL BILL.

And everyone used to think Maleficent was scary and Cruella deVille was so awful!? I just don't understand family entertainment anymore. I think I will stick to my dvd of Pete's Dragon where the scariest thing is Mickey Rooney singing in a lighthouse.

What Christmas Is All About...

2005-12-21T00:39:00.000-05:00

I tend to confuse people around the holidays.

With a name like David Solomon people don't expect me to be searching the internet for a copy of the currently out-of-print dvd of Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas

But, I am. I do. I did.

The truth is I am a half-jew with a secret fetish for rare and sometimes cheesy Christmas specials.

Maybe it is the fact that I was raised with both a menorah and a christmas tree with sporadic trips to either a synagogue or church, and that the only holiday constant seemed to be Charlie Brown and his droopy little christmas tree with the one red ornament.

And although Linus' little speech on the true meaning of Christmas says more than any priest or rabbi (?) ever could...for me, the images of Christmas specials past (and present) really create a feeling of warmth and spirit around the holiday season. They make me feel like a little kid again.

Well, at least for 30 minutes...

So, for the holiday season...I present you with images from some of my favorite christmas specials!

In the beginning, there was...
CHRISTMAS EVE ON SESAME STREET.

Did it ever get much better than this? Giant big bird skating with shy girl, cookie monster eating his typewriter, Kermit interviewing kids about how santa gets down the chimney, Bob and Linda singing with deaf children, Elmo not yet born...

Mr. Hooper giving Bert and Ernie back their paperclips and rubber duckies...
...Big Bird waiting for Santa...

okay, I'm getting a little choked up...

and moving on...

THE POLAR EXPRESS -- In IMAX 3-D.

and only in IMAX 3-D. amazing. and for 3 simple reasons.

1. it's just gorgeous.

2. it almost made me puke. (you really feel high...and you're just sitting there....and not just because...well, okay that too)

3. seeing your friends wearing those ridiculous 3-D glasses. trust me. funny.

Opus and Bill The Cat in A WISH FOR WINGS THAT WORK

a lost treasure. i still have my old video taped off tv. hard to find, but one of the best! what other christmas special has a cross-dressing cockroach and a pig named Truffles who is convinced he is a rhinoceros. Highly recommended.

THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS

the beginning of south park. the 5-minute short that started it all.

Jesus: I come seeking...retribution.
Stan: *gasp* He's come to kill you cuz you're Jewish, Kyle!

(easy to find online.)

THE SNOWMAN

based on the Raymond Briggs book. the music alone kills my soul. beautiful and incredibly tragic. just like Christmas should be.

"did you see the tree, audrey?"

"she'll see it later, Clark. her eyes are frozen."

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION.

What's this?! Santa and Mrs. Claus caught in a blizzard...about to freeze to death...

but then...
pure holiday magic occurs.

SANTA CLAUS: THE MOVIE.

a big floppo from the people that made Superman. But get over yourselves peoples...this is how it really happened! The true story...right down to Dudley Moore as Patch the elf and John Lithgow as the evil corporate toy man with dangerous lollipops. This movie is just fucking brilliant.

Carol Kane stars as a modern day scrooge and Bill Murray makes a brief appearance as a kooky fairy with a lisp in...
SCROOGED.

and who can forget that other dim-witted fairy, Cindy Lou Who...

whose Christmas is almost ruined by the infamous...
GRINCH WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS.

and so many great classical actors have played the role of Ebenezer Scrooge...

Patrick Stewart, Alastair Sim, Michael Caine...

my two favorites...

runner-up:

Albert Finney in SCROOGE - (the musical!)

and the #1 Scrooge of all time:

Scrooge McDuck

also, noteworthy:

Cathy Rigby.

Okay, I know these next few aren't really Christmas "specials" or Christmas movies....

but around this time of year who doesn't think of

BAMBI

EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
GREMLINS

and (most of all)

EYES WIDE SHUT

or what about that McDonald's commercial they used to play when I was a kid. The one with the sad i-can't-skate boy and the animated forest creatures. And Ronald comes and takes sad boy skating!

I think it is because of this commercial...and the ones with the polar bears for Coca Cola...that even today, I crave McDonald's and Coke around the holidays. And these are things I don't usually crave and don't even like!

That's how truly magical Christmas can be!

And the gays were always well represented in holiday specials

A few more Christmas quirps and questions

1. See BAD SANTA

Trust me. It's actually an incredible movie that is smart and funny and strangely moving.

Then you can fix yourself some sandwiches.

2. Is THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie?

3. What happened to The Sweeney Sisters??

I can't find this SNL sketch anywhere?!?! I mean, really!!

The Christmas Medley!! one of the most brilliant moments in SNL history.

It's not on the Christmas dvd...Hello?! Someone help me find this!??

All I want for Christmas is Jan Hooks and Nora Dunn singing Christmas carols in my living room. Thanks Santa.

So, in closing...

As Linda and the cast of Big River remind us,

"Keep Christmas With You All Through The Year

When Christmas Is Over Save Some Christmas Cheer

These precious moments, hold them very dear

And keep Christmas with you, all through the year."

HAPPY HOLIDAYS HALF-JEWS and ALL!

Bunny Suicides

2005-12-18T02:06:00.000-05:00

a new discovery...

Bunny Suicides

and for the holidays...

go HERE for more!

(thanks j-babs!)

Shameless Self Promotion

2005-11-06T04:18:00.001-05:00

i wrote this.

it had an extended run at The Duplex (in NYC) about a year ago...and now we are bringing it to the seriously amazing Ars Nova theatre for one night only: Sunday, November 13th at 7pm.

i wasn't sure whether to post this here or not.

but i am.

i didn't plan to use this arena for self-promotion, but if you enjoy my little ruminations on ziti and shark chumming, you may enjoy this little story about a woman and her gay boyfriend of three years. there are boys, music, cybersex and more! It's raunchy and full of brilliant dialogue and stunning plot twists. You'll laugh, you'll cry...and more importantly...there is a bar in the theatre.

But it's strictly BYOZ. bring your own ziti.

you can read more about it here: Playbill Online

and here: katepazakis.com

and also here: Ars Nova

Your skin is like milk!!

(if you get that joke, buy a ticket immediately)

(if you don't, buy a ticket before the people who do)

call (212) 868-4444 or visit www.smarttix.com

see you sunday.

My red hoodie

2005-10-23T22:42:00.000-04:00

This is a red hoodie.

It is not an exact replica of the one that I recently purchased on an all day shopping binge with my dear friend and blog-mate Josh E. Pants.

In fact, the hoodie above kind of reminds me of the army of walking armor from everybody's favorite Angela Lansbury action/adventure movie Bedknobs and Broomsticks. (see armor in right of photo below):

In Bedknobs and Broomsticks, Angela Lansbury topped her Tony Award winning role in Sweeney Todd and her legendary turn in The Manchurian Candidate. The brilliant Lansbury made a bed fly, danced with animated fish, and led an army of ghost armor via broomstick. She did this all with grace and dignity...and I think we all took it a little too much for granted.

But I digress.

My red hoodie.

Well, actually I bought 3 hoodies. And one cool other jacket/non-hoodie type thingy that is hard to describe, but I assure you that it is incredibly hip and stylish. I bought it at Urban Outfitters, so I'm sure you will see many other 20-something boys wearing exactly the same cool and hip jacket/non-hoodie type thingy around New York City. But I decided that, for me...this was to be the fall of the hoodie.

I set out with the intention to buy 1 and came home with 3.

The reasoning is quite simple:

1. It's cold.

1a. It is the perfect fall accoutrement.

2. I'm getting old.

I bought one in black. Standard. Basic. Goes with anything.

I bought one in blue. But it has various shades of blue and is an incredibly stylish cut. Armani, in fact!

And I bought one in red.

I am wearing the red one right now. It makes me feel like this:

And a little like this:

And...yes, even a little like this:

I saw that red hoodie and I thought..."If I buy it, he will come."

Yes, it is almost Halloween. The season of the Great Pumpkin, Michael Myers and E.T. And anyone who has seen E.T. as an adult will cry more than a dinosaur can pee...because really, we all have a little Elliot in us. And we all have to say goodbye to our little alien friends and grow up a little.

Cry here:

But this fall, I say: "Fuck that!" I am wearing my red hoodie and waiting for glorious things to happen.

thanks H&M.

art

2005-10-18T13:44:00.000-04:00

artwork provided by sarah fisher parvis

Fun With Jesus

2005-10-06T20:11:00.000-04:00

Handpainted resin statues on a solid wood base are the perfect gift for every young Catholic athlete. These statues portray Jesus actively participating with boys and girls in a variety of sports. A wonderful way to reinforce Jesus "as friend" in everyday activities. Sizes vary from 4 3/4 to 6 1/2 inches.

Please visit Catholic Shopper for more fun with Jesus! Including such activities as golf, tennis and gymnastics!

thanks sunil!

Back to School

2005-09-30T20:52:00.000-04:00

This morning I was out taking a nice jog through my neighborhood. It was sunny, but cool...the perfect day for a little run. As I jogged past the church/school that is near my house (yes, it is both church and school - God is a multi-tasker!), there was a woman who had just dropped her child off and was walking back to the mini-van where her younger boy sat strapped in and smiling in his little car seat.

I thought...it's that time of year. Back to school! Ever since graduating from college and moving to New York City seven long years ago, I haven't even been aware of that holiday CVS refers to as "Back to School." Actually, I lie...I couldn't wait to get back to college...Kindergarten through high school were the years when the "Back to School" sales made you want to dress up like a Wendy's Frosty and run off to New York City in pursuit of higher meaning:

On my first day of Kindergarten, I screamed and cried. I screamed a lot. I cried a lot. I screamed and cried so much that all the other kids started screaming and crying...half of them out of fear, the other half uniting in my brilliant protest.

I may have been an emotionally disturbed child...or, as my dad would say "overly sensitive"...BUT maybe...MAYBE...I had some premonition that everything in life would go downhill from this point on.

I mean, think about it. Before your first day of Kindergarten, life is the best vacation ever! At least it was in the beautiful middle-class suburb of North Haven, Connecticut where I grew up. All I did all day was suck on toys, ride around in the car and watch television. Now all of a sudden I have to wear something that looks like this:

and eat food that looks like this:

Hello! Put me back in the car seat!

Before you know it, another twenty years have passed (only 1/4 of an average lifetime!) and you are living in New York City, you are poor because you've decided it would be a good idea to work in theatre, and you have been in love. Can life get any worse!?

But that was twenty-five. At this point, as I jogged by the little boy in his car seat at the start of my 47th day of my 28th year on this planet we call earth, I felt pretty great. Hell! It's 8:30am and I am running! I live in New York City! I've been in love! And I work in theatre!

However, I will admit...as I'm sure many of us can...that sometimes I feel like I am still searching for a higher meaning...

Forget the gates...

2005-09-21T04:19:00.000-04:00

Artists erect giant pink bunny on mountain.

"An enormous pink bunny has been erected on an Italian mountainside where it will stay for the next 20 years.

The 200-foot-long toy rabbit lies on the side of the 5,000 foot high Colletto Fava mountain in northern Italy's Piedmont region. Viennese art group Gelatin designed the giant soft toy and say it was "knitted by dozens of grannies out of pink wool".

Group member Wolfgang Gantner said: "It's supposed to make you feel small, like Gulliver. You walk around it and you can't help but smile."

And Gelatin members say the bunny is not just for walking around - they are expecting hikers to climb its 20 foot sides and relax on its belly. The giant rabbit is expected to remain on the mountain side until 2025."

Never mind going to Canada...I want to relax on a giant pink rabbit belly! Vacation Plan: 2023.

Dave Recommends

2005-09-14T18:18:00.000-04:00

http://www.stuffonmycat.com/

a few more favorite pics...

click on this for full detail:

also highly recommended:

www.bonsaikitten.com

Three Wishes

2005-09-10T00:08:00.000-04:00

If I could make three wishes...

Right now (on September 9th, 2005 at 7:48pm e.s.t) this is what I would wish for:

WISH #1: I Wish To Be Canadian

Seriously. This is not a joke.

It may have been a joke 1 year and 17 months ago. But, right now (at 7:49pm e.s.t.) it is no longer funny. I wish to be Canadian.

And it's not only because of the many convenient Dairy Queen locations but also because Canadians are so full of joy.

Like this young Canadian:

Okay, maybe "joy" is not the word.

Proud?

Canadians are so full of proud.

And pride.

They have such an intense and seething pride that it masks their inner warmth and kindness.

I love Canadians.

So do beavers:

Beavers...and this guy:

He loves it so much that he created snow.

Also, if I were Canadian I could talk on my cellphone while walking down the street on the way to Dairy Queen and say "Yeah...I'm oot and aboot" and the person I was talking to wouldn't laugh.

Also, I could say "You like nachos, ay?" and everyone would just smile and nod as they dipped into the guac.

I would say "Ay?" all the time!

Yes, I would. And nobody would try and stop me.

But the most important reason I wish to be Canadian right now (8:23pm e.s.t.) is this guy:

I wouldn't have to see him so much. He wouldn't be ruining my country!

And when he appeared on the tele, I could just change the channel and watch "Terrence and Philip" instead.

Also, Dairy Queen.

WISH #2: I Wish To Invent Carb-less Bread

Yes this is a truly selfish and materialistic wish.

But, do you know how much money I could make?!

Answer: A lot of money.

I could finally afford my own apartment in Toronto with a private jet to take me to work in New York City. I could also have my very own disco ball.

Because, hey...free disco balls!

But really it's not about the money and free gifts. It's about the bread.

And my breads would be available in all shapes and sizes... for everybody to enjoy!

There would be bears:

And Kittens:

Americans would love my breads...

WISH #3: I Wish I Had Never Seen The CAVE

I know this wish seems trivial and does not even have a lot of comic potential.

I am aware of that.

I know it may seem like a wasted wish to some...but still, it is something that right now (8:34pm e.s.t) I truly wish.

Since I am incredibly claustraphobic and am terrified of dangerous sea creatures, I thought this might be the best new sci-fi/horror film since Deep Blue Sea.

Boy, was I wrong.

I left unscathed...unscarred...

I wasted time and for that...

and for now (12:33am e.s.t.)...

I rub the lamp:

art

2005-09-08T15:24:00.000-04:00

artwork discovered and provided by "the Sooz"

Canine Update.

2005-09-02T14:27:00.000-04:00

The following canis familiaris is not a threat to any working creature, man or animal.

However, he has held a certain gold crown for three years straight...

Meet Sam.

REAL LIVE DOGS!

2005-08-24T17:19:00.000-04:00

Last night was a beautiful summer eve. Seriously. Beautiful.

In fact, it was 76 degrees Fahrenheit, with 42 percent humidity with winds from NNW at 9mph.

Perfect.

And I had the great fortune of attending Two Gentlemen of Verona as part of what is the Public Theater's 50th historic year of Shakespeare in the Park. It was the perfect night to be outside watching Shakespeare...or rather, a rock musical adapation of Shakespeare that, back in 1972, for some mysterious and absurd reason actually won Best Musical over Sondheim's Follies.

Perfect.

In addition to having great seats, great weather, wonderful music and an amazing cast (led by the young up-and-coming star of Rent, Daphne Rubin-Vega) I got to thinking about something that is becoming quite a trend in the theatre: Real Live Dogs!

In Two Gents, Launce shares a few scenes and comic "conversations" with his dog, Crab. Crab was played onstage by a real live dog who was credited in the playbill with the sole name "Buster." We have Madonna, Prince, Cher and Anna Nicole...now there's Buster.

I believe Uta Hagen once said, if you throw a baby or an animal up on stage, nobody is going to watch the actors. Or was it Stephen Hawking.

Well, okay....so it seems that some people believe babies to be "cute" and "loveable"

however:

The puppy has no competition.

And as proven last night, on the stage of the Delacorte theatre, the dog steals the show. Buster had even more fans at the stage door than any of the real live people...including Ms. Rubin-Vega!!

It's only real competition came from the flying dove which, on it's first entrance directly o'er my little head, scared the shit out of me. But I soon came to realize, as it flew toward stage, that the bird seemed to be either incredibly stiff or the work of a master taxidermist. And, in my opinion, taxidermy does not really belong in the American Musical Theatre.

For anyone who has seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the fantasmagorical musical currently playing at the Hilton Theatre on 42nd Street, you will know that a gaggle of real live dogs swarm the factory scene in pursuit of everybody's favorite candy the "Toot-Sweet." I applauded and "awwwww-ed" right along with all the children in the audience. "Look at all those dogs! Ha ha ha! Dogs!" They got almost as much applause as the flying car machine.

So, while actors of the silver screen are currently fearing the development of CGI characters as replacements for live actors...the members of Actor's Equity should be fearing the popularity of the onstage canine.

I mean, really, who would you rather see in the next revival of A Streetcar Named Desire?

Suzanne Somers or Buster?

Alicia Silverstone even has a webpage run by her dog, Samson. And where is Alicia Silverstone these days!?

There are only 2 other kind of dogs that pose any kind of threat to the working canine.

and 2.

#1. The Reservoir Dogs. Not really a threat. Put seven Busters in a room with those guys, see who comes out unscathed.

#2. The prairie dog. Small. Unassuming. But...very cute and unpredicatable!! And they can sing.

But here, some actor canines, perfectly capture the natural action of the prairie dog, while also providing a subtle social comment on their scandalous mating rituals:

Studies show that during a 4- or 5- hour period, a female Prairie Dog may mate with as many as 5 different males. All I have is a still photo, but in action, the dogs above can convey that fact with merely the wag of a tail.

So, Stage Actors of America beware! The canines are here! All the Vanessa Redgraves and Deborah Gibsons of tomorrow may have some serious competition in the coming years. And all I can recommend is to keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.

Experience # 70052

2005-08-16T19:12:00.000-04:00

From : Customerexperience@JambaJuice.com
To : daasolomon@hotmail.com

Subject : Jamba Juice - Experience # 70052

Hello David,

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us. I am so sorry to learn that we discontinued your favorite bread!

There was a ton of work (consumer research, testing, tasting, etc.) that went in to this change in breads and we are hearing some great feedback. However, we are also hearing from those customers that prefer the other breads. At the end of the day, it will be the customer that decides what stays! I will be sure to share your voice with the appropriate folks for review.

Thanks again for your comments and we sincerely hope you will continue to visit us.

Sincerely,
Jennifer Hofeling
Customer Service
Jamba Juice Company

"We aspire to deliver the perfect Jamba Experience to each and every Customer, each and every time!"

MY RESPONSE:

A photo of me (now also known as: Experience # 70052) and David Blaine in London.

David Blaine is the one suspended in a glass box over the Thames...starving himself for 44 days.

I am the one in the foreground making an expression that seems to say, "I can't believe there will never be another Grin N' Carrot."

The couple to my right are Communists.

At the time of this photo (fall 2003), I didn't even know that Jamba Juice existed. Wait...did it?

According to my favorite website (www.jambajuice.com), Jamba Juice founded its first store in San Luis Obispo, California in 1990.

So, it did exist. I was just not aware.

But the point is...the POINT is...at the time of this photo I was really thinking "I don't like David Blaine. I think his starvation "stunt" is insulting and the only thing he really hungers for is media attention."

In fact, right when that photo was taken I was thinking...

"I am making an angry face. Grrrr."

From CNN.com (October 20, 2003):

>>The stunt has captivated Londoners, with huge crowds gathering every day at Tower Bridge. Some threw eggs and golf balls at Blaine, others held barbecues underneath his box and one man was fined after trying to sabotage his water supply. Others bared their breasts and buttocks at him while some banged drums to keep him awake at night. <<

When I was there, some guy was chanting something or other...and some other person ran up and punched him in the face. A fight broke out. The bobbies intervened. David Blaine looked down in horror then curled up in a corner and cried.

An interview from his little glass shelter:

Q. Are you bored?

A. I believe that boredom is a choice that we have.

Q. So are you choosing to be bored?

A. No, I am choosing to learn.

Q. Explain that again, why aren't you bored?

A. Boredom is a state of mind. We have a choice. I choose to not be bored. I chose to observe and listen.

Q. And you have lost a bit of weight as well?

A. I expect probably about 35 pounds.

When he was released from his great glass elevator, Mr. Blaine came out crying -- he spoke the following:

"This has been one of the most important experiences of my life," he said.

"I have learned more in that little box than I have learned in years. I have learned how important it is to have a sense of humor and laugh at everything because nothing makes any sense anyway. I have learned how strong we all are as human beings. But most importantly I have learned to appreciate the simple things in life -- a smile from a stranger or a loved one, the sunrise and the sunset, everything that God has given us, I love you all so much."

So, wait a minute...most Jamba Juice customers really do prefer the other breads!?!?

Grrrr.

Jersey Redemption

2005-08-10T19:54:00.000-04:00

So...contrary to my earlier posting...in which I merely suggested that New Jersey might be one of the least interesting things in the world...I have to admit that this slippery little state is beginning to sneak it's way into my bitter soul.

Not only do they provide the closest Dairy Queen to NYC, but it seems that New Jersey is slowly moving away from its title of "Garden State" and it will soon be known only as the "Chum State."

CHUM: Bait usually consisting of oily fish ground up and scattered on the water.

but "chum" also means:

"a close friend who accompanies his buddies in their activities"

and it seems like Jersey is becoming the perfect place for close friends to grab a pail of oily ground up fish heads and journey out to the shore or the woods and hunt down two of nature's most dangerous predators.

Earlier this summer, there was a Great White Shark attack off Jersey shores. see photo below (WARNING - grapic image!!):

Having a little shark obsession myself, I became intrigued by the idea of setting out on a chumming expedition with two of my closest chums...compare scars, sing whaling songs, and mutter phrases such as "We're gonna' need a bigger boat."

Now....today in the New York Times there is an article about the growing bear population and the controversial topic as to whether the estimated 3,400 bears need to be lessened through a legalized and controlled "bear hunt."

Yes, this is serious. And true. Seriously true. There are an estimated 3,400 bears in the state of New Jersey. And they are a serious threat to the future generations of mallrats and Dippin' Dot customers.

In fact, my friend Cassandra took this picture out her window in South Orange, New Jersey just this morning:

Unbeliveable.

Cassandra (known to some only as "The Pigeon") did provide the following message of comfort to all Jersey-ites (or rather, for her own well-being):

"Luckily I am on the third floor of my complex, so a bear would have to climb up my fire escape and punch out my air conditioner to get in. Even then all they would find to eat is a piece of pita bread and some plantain chips."

Unfortunately, not all of us are Puerto Rican and survive on plaintains and Catholic guilt. If there were bears in Williamsburg, I guarantee they would climb right in our 2nd story window, eat the feline and be watching my DVD of Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day by the time I got home from work.

So, I feel for those in Jersey who have to fear these dangerous balls of carniverous fur (in addition to the casual rapist and psycho killer) on their long walks home from the PATH train.

I think it's time to start chumming. (There are some worthwhile beginner instructions, here. HERE!) And maybe we can chum, not with the intention to kill...but rather to bring more tourists and a better economy to the former Garden State. We can chum the bears and sharks into their own little world -- "Chum World" where they can wander free, be observed and maybe even be loved a little. It is time.

A message of great importance.

2005-08-09T18:55:00.000-04:00

A letter I just wrote to Jamba Juice via their website:

www.jambajuice.com

(For those of you who may not be familiar, Jamba Juice is becoming for smoothies what Starbucks is for coffee...get ready world! Get ready Steven Spielberg!)

also, if you share my feelings below, please be sure to write to the lovely people at www.jambajuice.com

also, this letter appears exactly as i sent it. i am not dramatizing it for the blog readers of this world...i say it like it is...and here it is:

Hi. I am just writing with an inquiry I've been meaning to make for a long time.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GRIN N' CARROT!?!!??!

That was undeniably the best product you offered in your "baked goods" section...and one day it just suddenly disappeared. "Poof!" Like that. Gone.

I know many other people (including a number of co-workers) were also big fans of this magical carrot concoction. Whether off the shelf or toasted ever so slightly, it certainly brought a grin to my little face on a busy work day.

In the store they told us "it wasn't selling well." So I guess that is what happens...something doesn't bring in the bucks, you get rid of it. Send it off to carrot heaven. But I never buy any of those pizza-stick-thing-a-ma-bobbers. And when I go to Jamba with my co-worker, John, we often take a moment of silence to mourn the great loss of the Grin N' Carrot.

I mean, really! I think it's time to bring it back. They were just so damn good! And anyone who prefers a pizza-parmesan-pretzal-who-ha-mabugger needs to know what they are missing!
Bring back the Grin N' Carrot. Or please send me a year-long supply and I will kindly share and distribute them to all of us who are mourning this great jamba loss.

This message is written with humor, but a profound seriousness prevails.

People want the carrot!

Thank You...

David Solomon

Waffles and this amazing thing some call "life"

2005-08-05T16:32:00.000-04:00

Today on my way to work...waiting for the N/R/Q or, perhaps, W...i had a thought.

one, simple thought:

waffles.

and it wasn't a general thought. it wasn't the all-encompassing waffle thought. it was very specific.

not eggos...

not dad's homemade sunday waffles...

it was those little small, square waffles that were one of the rotating menu items that you could get when you bought lunch at my grammar school in North Haven, Connecticut.

there would be two waffles and a little plastic thing of maple syrup...and, i believe, two little chain-link sausages. all for the incredibly affordable price of $2. (i think that's what it was, anyway)

there were also the days of French Bread pizza and the classic, cardboard quality grilled cheese. but it was all so good! what i wouldn't give for one of those little waffle plates right at this moment!

and i'm pretty sure it was some kind of smell near the garbage bags piled up in the corner of the subway platform that triggered this memory. i couldn't figure out what the smell was...and it wasn't the normal putrid summer stench of subway garbage...it was the smell of grammar school waffles.

then, i thought of my second-favorite waffle memory:

the first time i discovered Waffle House...on a college spring-break road trip to Florida! Waffle House was bigger than Starbucks in New York City. Who knew!? I had never even seen a Waffle House...and suddenly they are popping up like crazy...two on each corner. Seven on every block. it's quite a phenomenon.

when i went to North Carolina this past spring with Pants (aka Josh)...same thing. waffle houses everywhere. only sporadically broken apart by the occassional Cracker Barrel.

why aren't there waffle houses in the Northeast? maybe i should call my friend at Dairy Queen and find out!?

i guess, here in the New York...we're more into our Eggo whole-grain low-fat waffles.

...in their nice little yellow box.

and why is everything associated with waffles yellow? the eggo box...the waffle house scrabble sign?

what we have learned from this entry:

yellow = waffle

in other news, yesterday was one of those days that made me think...oh, this is why life is amazing.

and i won't use this time to get all personal and blog-gushy. but sometimes, life seems awful and you cry a lot. and some days, life is so exciting...like jesus.

yesterday was one of those.

in fact, there have not been a lot of those awful days lately. i haven't cried in a long time. (i think it's because i've been eating my Nutri-grain waffles)

anyway, back in 1952 i saw the original cast of Rent. It was amazing. I was in college at the time and I loved it. Yes, I did. I was never a "Rent-head" per se, but I loved it. And yesterday, as some of the original cast...now in their mid-to-late 70s...sang in Bryant Park (for the upcoming movie release) I felt like a little college half-jew all over again.

later that night, jay brannan opened his Ars Nova gig with a sarcastic a cappella "Seasons of Love." FYI - Jay hates musicals. Jay singing Rent = funny. And it was. Dave can love Rent and Dave can laugh at Rent. I am incredibly versatile.

the point is...and i don't really know this Jay guy...met him once...went to his gig...he was amazing. check him out. www.jaybrannan.com

i mean, seriously.

he makes bitterness beautiful. he captures being young and gay like a gregg araki movie captures child molestation. his music is incredible. he was incredible. if i describe it any further, we will end up with a mess of cliche that would undermine everything about him...so, forget it.

yellow = waffle. life is like jesus. the end.

The Two Most Important Things In Life.

2005-08-02T16:59:00.000-04:00

Here they are. The 2 most important things in life...and in no particular order.

1. Jurassic Park

2. Dairy Queen

Now, seriously...let's start with #1.

Jurassic Park may be the most exciting thing that ever happened in the world of the cinema. Now my dvd collection includes everything from The Bicycle Thief to Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas...so, let's just say, I have a wide range of taste. And while I have a love of Spielberg, in general, those dinos just turn me into a little kid. I have all 3 on dvd. I have the little giftset with the bonus disc. I have a raptor claw that my roomate Andrea gave me for Christmas. When I was visiting my friend Paige in LA, I made her ride the Jurassic Park Ride two times in a row...and when we came down that 84-foot drop, Paige was screaming and I had tears running down my face. Not from the drop...the wind and water rushing into my corneas...but from the pure joy of being attacked by an angry T-Rex.

And I am embarrassed to admit...or rather, not embarrassed to admit...that I have not watched a Jurassic Park movie all summer. And what is summer without Jurassic Park!!??

I tell you...right now, at this very instant, I wish I were the girl in this picture:

So lucky.

Now...#2.

D.Q.

Here is what happens when you go to Dairy Queen.com and use the "Locate a Store" feature to search for the Dairy Queen closest to my "convenient" midtown Manhattan location:

Dairy Queen
6903 Kennedy Blvd.
North Bergen, NJ 07047
201-869-0910

now here are the 2 least important things in life:

1. New Jersey.

2. New Jersey.

I love the malls and all, but really!

((Actually, I did get kind of excited/scared when there was a Great White Shark attack off the Jersey shore and I tried to find a boat that would take me chumming...but i digress...)

Why are there no Dairy Queens in New York City!! I am going to call the number above and ask them this question. Please hold...

Ok. I'm back. Thanks for holding.

I got a very nice woman on the phone.

Woman: "Hello. Dairy Queen."

Me: "I have a very random question."

Woman: "Okay?"

Me: "Why aren't there any Dairy Queens in New York City."

She laughs.

Woman: "I don't know."

She continues to laugh.

I explained to her that people in New York want Dairy Queen and didn't she think it was weird that there weren't any in the city. SHE DID! She agreed. I told her to pass my inquiry on to the powers that be. I should have asked her her name and told her that we should open a Dairy Queen. A nice big one right in Union Square. That would give Jamba Juice a run for their money!! Someone is missing out on a major opportunity. If you are interested in opening a franchise, please visit Dairyqueen.com and I will fully support you with my blizzard purchases.

The last time I had a really good blizzard was in Canada. And that's no joke. I went all the way to Toronto just for some good ol' DQ. (okay...and to visit my cousin) But here we are...the highlight of our time together:

See. Dairy Queen made us so happy. And, for a fleeting moment, somewhat introspective:

So, please. Make the calls, visit the websites...let's find out how we can make this happen!

Summer will be over before we know it and New York City deserves a blizzard!

(and i think we all know...a McFlurry just doesn't cut it)

today...

2005-08-01T18:33:00.000-04:00

there will be no exciting blog post. at least from me...

i am swamped at work. and i had to work on a separate project this weekend...and i'm trying to revise a play i've been working on...and the eye parts of my face are starting to hurt from staring at a computer screen.

also, i'm a martyr.

in fact, in high school i was President of the "Martyr Club"

why is high school coming up so much in my blog entries?! do i have repressed childhood memories? was i raped and murdered in high school? why did i cry when i saw "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" on broadway? i think it's because i used to watch that movie as a kid and all the words to every song came rushing back. or it's because i was raped.

or is it because i know that some of my high school friends are reading this blog.
yes. maybe it's just that simple.

and the sooz is reading. she posted a comment to josh's last entry and not only upset him with her personal disseminators of information but also used the name Susan. Do not let this confuse you. Susan (aka Susie; aka the Sooz) is all one and the same and she will hopefully continue to bring her knowledge of life and the dewey decimal system to the comment section of our blog.

anyway. enough. i'm busy. like jesus.

but i have been having a lot of important thoughts about Dairy Queen...so stay tuned.

I mean, really.

2005-07-29T14:36:00.000-04:00

Gay men's home burns, with epithet left behind

i'm sorry...but i just can't believe shit like this still happens.

i mean, really.

i guess i'm spoiled living in New York City...and i forget that there really are still so many sheltered, pathetic, close-minded people living in the world. what is the point of a hate crime. haven't you people read The Four Agreements?!

i think things need to change. there i said it.

but then again...

More 'superstrain' HIV cases found

so basically we're busy killing ourselves as well. one of these new cases was spread from a man in CT man to a man in NY while having sex on crystal meth.

i mean, really. this is awful. to quote Larry Kramer's recent speech at Cooper Union:

"I love being gay. I love gay people. I think we’re better than other people. I really do. I think we’re smarter and more talented and better friends. I do, I do, I totally do. I really do think all of these things. And I passionately and desperately want all my brothers and sisters to stay alive and well and on this earth as long as they want theirs to.

Can we all help each other to reach this goal?"

if you have a moment...read this speech. it's amazing. available in print and here online.

so, let's all just wake up for a minute...thanks. then we'll get back to ziti.

Lunch with Jesus

2005-07-28T18:19:00.000-04:00

i'm sorry...i can't stop posting today, but this is important.

1. i am addicted to blogging. probably because this is all new to me and i have no friends.

2. i just got back from lunch and i saw the Ark of the Covenant. seriously. on the corner 40th and Broadway. i am sorry that i did not have a camera on me and my phone is not up to par with modern technological standards. but i found a re-creation online (see photo above)...and, trust me, it is pretty accurate.

and it was really quite breathtaking in person. it was just sitting there on a pedestal. and a choir of young women were gathered next to it singing beautiful songs to Jesus. Harrison Ford was nowhere to be seen. And just think of everything he went through. And there it was. Right next to the U.S. Postal truck.

a nice young woman handed me and my co-worker, John, a pamphlet about God's Love. I told her "We're Gay." She just handed us the pamplet, smiled and walked away.

inside the pamphlet were beautiful pictures of developing fetuses and a list of God's Ten Laws (from Exodus). I couldn't find the part about the plague of frogs. I guess that comes later.

Ah, lunch in midtown. Blimpies, the Ark of the Covenant and God's Love all in 3 blocks.

I love New York.

The Walter Story: Part three

2005-07-28T16:25:00.000-04:00

Sike!

No my friends (read: Dave's friends), my post is not about Walter or any other starchy pasta personality. It's about being ronrey (read lonely).

In a Radar magazine article I discovered north Korea's dear leader, Kim Jong Il, doesn't have a happy home life. His oldest son Kim Jon Nam, 34, has had multiple run-ins with the law and repeatedly sneaks into Japan. He must of gotten a big spanking from daddy when he was caught in the Tokyo airport trying to fly to Tokyo Disney with a Dominican passport. Doh!

But alas, Il views his younger son an even more of a lost cause. Daddy thinks Kim Jong Chol is "too much like a girl."

OH Kim Jong Il, with such awful sons. You much be so so very ronrey.

Walter. Update.

2005-07-28T16:07:00.000-04:00

so, the Walter story has become an instant classic.

and Liz left me a message yesterday and said that she's been telling people about the posting and that they find it "amusing."

and, yes. i guess in some ways, it is. but Liz was somewhat distraught because, in reality, it was quite horrific at the time.

Liz also reminded me that after departing the multi-plex parking lot...we returned home and took photos in which we re-created Walter's tragic demise. Liz said she will attempt to dig up these historic documents so we can post them here. Don't cross your philanges. It was a long time ago...

And, yes, another innocent ziti was smashed in the process of recreating the events. A poor innocent stand-in who sacrificed his nameless and uncooked life at a chance to play the greatest role he could ever play -- Walter.

alaskan ziti updates

2005-07-28T15:57:00.000-04:00

see the photo above.

my brother took that. seriously. he is in alaska doing oceanagraphic studies for the summer.

see the photo below:

that is me at my day job. and as a woman.

i stare at a computer screen.

he is on a boat machine staring at whales and beautiful mountain vistas.

today's trivia: should i spend $700 and fly to alaska next weekend?

whoever gets this question right, gets to send me $700!!

also, important update.

wait...maybe i should make this it's own post...yes. yes, i will.

hello teddy. hello david.

2005-07-27T17:18:00.000-04:00

a real life A.I.

and it even looks like Haley Joel Osment!

a canadian shoot-oot to harris for finding this one...he wins a free website plug: www.harrisdoran.com

Walter

2005-07-26T19:42:00.000-04:00

when Josh discovered Chippy the Smiling Chip (see post below) ...

It automatically brought back memories of Walter. Walter was a piece of uncooked ziti that cunningly escaped a boiling pot of water...one magical 90's night back in good ol' Hamden, Connecticut. I was enjoying a pleasant night with my good ol' high school chums, Liz and Tracy.

Walter slipped out of our grasp and was the sole ziti to survive being cooked, parmed and digested. When we first spotted him on the counter, we immediately recognized his bravery and his 'Krafty' ways (a modern day Robin Hood, if you will). He was given the name Walter. He sat with us at dinner and laughed as we munched on his lesser friends. He even jumped into the steaming bowl of pasta at one point to see if we would notice or eat him by mistake. Of course we saw him...and plucked him right out! Silly Walter!

Then it was time for a special treat. We brought Walter with us to the local Multiplex for his very first motion picture experience. Walter loved Titanic. He gasped at the bold costume choices and breathtaking special effects. And wept as Rose and Jack clung to each other in their final moments of hope and desperation.

After the film, we were walking through the parking lot...talking about the movie, laughing about our wonderful evening...how exciting this had all been for our little ziti...WHEN SUDDENLY, Tracy in a moment of maniacal glee grabbed Walter from my hand, threw him to the ground and stomped on him...smashing his little ziti body into tiny fragments. It was truly horrific.

Liz and I will never understand what came over Tracy -- jealousy, perhaps? or some kind of childhood pasta trauma suddenly resurfaced? -- Whatever it was...all we could do was scream. Pick up his remains and walk to the car in silence. We have never forgiven Tracy to this day.

Chippy brought this all back...and I e-mailed Liz about Chippy and she responded with the following (an appropriate memorium -- possibly 10 years too late):

"i'm sure chippy is a fine guy in his own right, but no one can ever compare to walter... chippy seems a little more obvious, his humor more bawdy, his interests more pedestrian. walter was nuanced and subtle and cultured... and as we tragically witnessed, a martyr for ziti trying to make it in a human's world everywhere."

We will always remember you, Walter. And this late afternoon's blog entry is dedicated to your memory. At least he will always have Titanic....and it is fitting that the last song he ever heard was Celine Dion singing "My Heart Will Go On" as the credits rolled and his first film and his life came to an end...Our hearts go on for you, Walter...and on...and on...

Adventures with Chippy

2005-07-26T18:17:00.000-04:00

Have you always wanted a friend to be by your side through thick and thin? ['say of course josh!'] Good. But what if he was EDIBLE! Would that be even better! ['say hell yeah!']

Well here he is!

Chippy the Smiling Chip

gay days

2005-07-26T15:58:00.000-04:00

creepy. (click the word "creepy")

i have written checks to this man...at my day job. i think the #1 reason not to be murdered is that your private life and fetishes just come flying out into public terrain...

but not to make light of this...it's truly awful. and my first thought was...in a moment of anti-gay gayness...only the gays. but then i thought, nah...i like being gay. and this shit happens everywhere and everyplace. (see "Attraction, Fatal") and, in general, the gays are quite a warm, caring and humorous people.

also, i have to admit that i stole this news item from my favorite daily gay blog:

towleroad

this is seriously one of my favorite things to read every day. it is basically gay news...everything from politics to random smut. i love it. spread the word!

also, i saw Mysterious Skin last night. (see image above) i loved it. and actually watched a good 30% of the film pushing my thumb into my temple. i think this was a subconscious attempt to relieve the disturbance. but a really amazing...and ironically, beautiful film. i've decided i'm a fan of Gregg Araki...and returned home to dig up and old video copy of Nowhere....which is really also quite excellent...in a more frivolous intense way. and Cristina Applegate is in it!! HELLO! love her.

Dave's Monday Post

2005-07-25T19:20:00.000-04:00

I disagree with everything Josh said about the Penguin movie. Wait...I didn't even see it with him!! He is making up my life via internet. What the hell!? Blogging sucks.

Ok. I did see it. With Josh.

As Anna Paquin might say with New Zealand accent..."I tell a lie."

Josh (aka Mr. Pants) and I walked over the Williamsburg bridge, bought terrible red bevarages from Baskin Robbins...got simultaneous stomach/head aches and then recovered in an ice-cold theatre where we watched penguins get eaten by seals.

speaking of which...my brother is in Alaska right now...and he has to club baby seals to eat. i think...

anyway, i did love the penguin movie. until the end. when everything seemed okay...the babies were born...and the movie kept going. Wrap it up! I'm freezing! But for that, I blame the Angelika.

Also, I used to think zoos were bad. But after seeing what those penguins go through...

If I were a penguin, I would plead with the zookeepers "Take me! TAKE ME PLEASE!" Help me raise my young, keep me warm and fed. I mean the males don't eat for 4 months while they take care of the egg. 4 MONTHS!!!

Josh and I decided we should do the penguin diet. We are on day 2. Let's see how that goes.

I've already lost 8 pounds this summer. Which is weird...but true. And all my pants are falling down. My birthday is coming up. Please buy me pants. Or just wait 4 months...because then I may a few sizes smaller. Or dead.

March of the Penguins

2005-07-25T13:31:00.000-04:00

"Awwwwww!"

That about sums up the great documentary "March of the Penguins." Dave and I saw this together yesterday. It was perfect timing to see it too. We had just walked the Williamsburg Bridge and wanted to see something chill. soooo... Penguins it was!

Basically you follow the journey and life cycle of the emperor penguin though beautifully captured landscapes. The cinematics are amazing. Wait for the credits and you'll see how they got some of the shots without a crane. You also have to wonder how difficult it was for the camera guy to sit and watch a cute puffball of a penguin get snatched up by an ugly bird. I'd be shoo'n that thang so fast man. "Get the f*ck away b*tch!" Yup. That's what I'd say. Bird beatin'. Yeah man.

But don't worry. Natural violence was very minimal with the thoughtful theme of penguin love being front and center.

Josh gives it 4/5 penguins

found this interesting...

2005-07-20T21:06:00.000-04:00

great article on gay literature

and the author of this article, David Leavitt, wrote "The Lost Language of Cranes"

which i highly recommend...

Lost Language of Cranes

(did i do these link things right!?!? josh?)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Dave's Review

2005-07-20T14:34:00.000-04:00

i really liked it!

A NEW NAME!!!!

2005-07-19T19:23:00.000-04:00

so...we begin again.

and i write my second blog posting. ever.

we have a new title. ourFace. and, yes, we share a face.

okay, we don't. but we respect and celebrate people who do.

ourFace (that of dave and josh) is purely metaphor.

and now we are starting to notify people of our new online creation. so people other than josh and i will actually read this and make comments. maybe.

and maybe i will figure out why people actually take time to share things with random people out in this space of the cyber variety. i guess this is kind of interesting. writing...reaching out to the unknown. or maybe i can make new friends. and promote my career. ah...i get it!

oh...and you can now look back at our early entries as a kind of sneak-peek into the development of this brilliance you see before you. a Making-Of, if you will. a Special Feature. an audio commentary (sans audio or commentary.)

also, josh does all the work. and then i just make snide comments and tell him what i think it should look like...since i can't even figure out how to get a picture on my profile.

also, i'm half-jewish.

welcome. to ourFace.

okay....

2005-07-18T04:21:00.000-04:00

this is my first time ever writing on a blog. EVER. supposedly, this is the blog where josh and i write interesting and/or funny things. please keep your expectations low. maybe you will be pleasantly surprised.

1st of all "face" and "machine" are totally dave copyrighted. with a special shout out to mh3. josh has stolen them and added his signature "stupid" sans pre-fix "yur" to the title. this is not accusatory in any way...just a simple explanation of the origin of this here blog. a combination of dave and josh that is less complicated and more antagonistic than option #2 (Dance Dance Revolution Magic Sparkle Palace). don't ask.

i have to go to bed now. there is too much humidity to remain awake and content with life.

also, jesus love me and wants me to be well-rested for my incredibly important day job. if anyone is actually reading this...thanks for listening to me talk about nothing. i guess...in a way...that is what blogging is all about. nothingness in hopes for a moment of true inspiration or humor. maybe someday we will find one of the above. or both. or maybe kermit will just keep singing in the swamp.

(what.)

Overheard

2005-07-17T23:47:00.000-04:00

Location: Havermyer Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Hipster guy: Yeah, You got to love Johnny Dep.

Hipster girl: Yeah, I really feel I can trust him.